


You are the Reason

by dvg



Series: Robron, Seb, Olivia & Noah [1]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Dorks in Love, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, M/M, Reunions, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:53:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 40,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25691620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dvg/pseuds/dvg
Summary: When Lee turns out to be alive and Robert has a chance of getting released early, Robert makes a phone call, one he's been wanting to make since he got locked up. Can Aaron forgive him, and can they find their way back to each other?
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Series: Robron, Seb, Olivia & Noah [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1863052
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was having a really rough week and ended up deleting a lot of my fics, which of course I ended up regretting. I was at a really low point and honestly thought I was done writing. 
> 
> I'm uploading them in case anyone still wants to read them.

**_YOU ARE THE REASON_ **

_There goes my heart beating_   
_‘Cause you are the reason_   
_I’m losing my sleep_   
_Please come back now_

_Aaron – May 2, 2020_

Sleep was a foreign concept to Aaron these days. The time he spent away from the village had allowed him to clear his head and recharge his batteries. But time away did nothing to chase away the demons that remained here in the home he had built with Robert.

Time passed slowly, memories began to fade, but the heart never let you forget.

He pulled on grey sweat pants and a baggy white shirt and made his way downstairs, surrendering to the insomnia. Restless days and sleepless nights had become routine, a dark tunnel that showed no signs of having an end.

His gaze shifted to the mantle, where their wedding photograph had been displayed encased in a plain white picture frame before he had smashed it to pieces months earlier. He had done it more for the dramatic effect at the time, but as he was constantly reminded, it was unhealthy for him to continue to hold onto memories of a marriage that had been crushed to pieces like hunks of metal at the scrapyard.

There had been no happy ever after for them. Robert had made sure of that.

The photograph was now gathering dust in a box buried at the back of their bedroom closet. The box, along with other reminders of Robert and their relationship, remained there untouched.

The only thing he had gotten rid of had been the divorce papers that he had reluctantly signed. In the end, he had been unable to send them back to Robert's lawyer, and had thrown them away just like Robert had their marriage.

Maybe it was because he didn't want to admit their marriage had failed or because something inside of him just couldn't let go.

He had reluctantly taken off his wedding ring, hidden it away. To everyone else, he was no longer a married man. But in his heart he still was.

There was no point of wearing it now that the promises Robert had made to him on their wedding day had been broken. They had promised to be each other's safe place, that they would always be there for each other no matter what. Together they could get through anything.

But that wasn't true, was it?

Robert had walked away, leaving him to stumble through life on his own.

If Robert was going to spend years in prison, Aaron could have dealt with that. He wouldn't have given up as easily as Robert had. He would have fought. 

Better or worse. Till death do us part.

Those promises had meant nothing to Robert. And that hurt. Deep, like a knife in his heart.

He kept their wedding bands in a small black box in his beside table underneath Robert’s watch and a few other belongings of his that Aaron couldn’t bring himself to throw out.

_You need to let go of the past. Robert is gone. He’s never coming back. He left YOU._

The truth didn't prevent the daunting thoughts from keeping a chokehold on his heart. He fought them, but he couldn't escape them.

_I want to say how much I miss you, but it wouldn't change anything, so I just keep pretending I don't. It's easier on my heart._

His unspoken thoughts just made him feel uneasy and just led to more unanswered questions. 

_No matter what you tell people, you haven't let go. You're still fighting to save something that can't be saved._

_I feel like the air has been sucked out of me. Every time I think about him, I feel like I can finally breathe again._

_Am I crazy? Why do I still love him? Why can't I stop thinking about him?_

His cell phone lit up, halting his overthinking and self-destructive thoughts. He briefly thought about ignoring it, and as he looked at the clock on the wall, he wondered who the hell would be calling him at 4 am. Shit.

“Whoever the hell this is, you better have a good reason for phoning me at this ungodly hour,” he growled into the phone.

“Aaron.”

Aaron froze. He recognized the voice as soon as he heard his name in that soft whisper, even though months had passed since he'd last heard it. But it couldn’t be.

Robert.

When Aaron didn’t respond, Robert spoke again. “Please don’t hang up,” he said quickly. He exhaled slowly, and fearing Aaron could end the conversation at any moment, he prepared to lay his heart on the line. “I miss you.” His voice was unsteady, faint.

Aaron had often wondered what he would say if Robert ever contacted him again, but the chance of it ever happening had been so implausible. Now here he was living in that moment and he couldn't think straight.

“You left me," was the only thing he could think to say, his mind still reeling from hearing Robert's voice. It was too late to downplay the hurt he felt. Before he could stop them, the words came rushing out like lava from a volcano. “You gave up on me. You gave up on us. Just like that, like I meant nothing to you.”

“I know you’re angry at me for asking for a divorce.”

“Asking?” Aaron scoffed. “More like demanded.”

“You didn’t sign them.”

Aaron thought for a moment Robert sounded relieved. “I did, but then I decided to rip them to shreds instead.”

“I thought you would be better off without me. I’m stuck in here and I can’t change that. But I knew I had to try one more time to reach out to you. When you didn’t respond to my letters, I thought I had lost my chance.”

Aaron’s brow furrowed as he tried to comprehend what he had just heard. “Letters?” Aaron repeated. “What are you talking about? This is the first I’ve heard from you since November.”

“I wrote you two letters after I realized what a big mistake I had made. Didn’t you get them?”

“No.” But then realization hit him like a tidal wave, hard and fast. “My mum. She must have taken them. I got out of the village for a while and the day I came back I saw her in our driveway. She had these two envelopes. I remember asking her about them but she said it was just some junk mail that had accumulated in our mail box. I never saw them again after that. I don't know why it didn't occur to me until now that there was something fishy about it."

He hadn't realized until now the significance of the encounter. Her nervousness, the envelopes. It all fit. 

“Your mom?" Robert said, trying to hide the bitterness on his tongue. “She took them and didn’t give them to you.” His frustration was mounting, but his time was limited, and he still had so much to say. “Can’t say I blame her for trying to protect you. That’s what I have been trying to do, in my own messed up kind of way.”

“What did they say?” Aaron wanted to know. Would it even matter now?

Robert remembered sitting in his cold, empty cell with just a pen and paper, trying to find the right words to express everything going on inside his head. He had known words would never be enough, but it was a start. “A lot of things but mainly that I’m sorry, I miss you and that I….” _I love you,_ he thought but didn't say it aloud.

 _I miss you too_ , Aaron thought, but said nothing.

_There goes my mind racing_   
_And you are the reason_   
_That I’m still breathing_   
_I’m hopeless now_

Knowing this could be his only chance, Robert silently prayed that Aaron would hear him out. Their future depended on it. If they still had one.

“Lee is alive.” Robert still couldn’t wrap his head around everything that had happened in the last few weeks. Confusion had hit first, then anger. 

Aaron made a faint sound that sounded like a gasp on the other end of the line. He didn't trust his own voice but had to ask. “Are you serious?"

Robert repeated everything his lawyer had told him eleven days ago.

“They found him in Ireland. Apparently, he fled from the hospital and his family paid the doctor to cover up the truth. He wanted to start a new life somewhere else without the constant persecution. This way he could get back at me by sending me to prison for life.” The reality of the situation was still sinking in. “When they found him, he admitted to raping Victoria. He had attacked someone else and they came forward. When they brought him in for questioning and took his DNA, they discovered who he was. He knew he wasn't going to escape going to prison this time, and I guess he couldn’t live with the guilt anymore of what he'd done.”

Aaron began to pace the room. He thought about pouring a drink but decided against it. He needed his head to be clear. “What does that mean for your case?” 

“I have a hearing next week. My solicitor thinks my sentence will be overturned based on his confession and time served.”

Aaron had to blink as a few reluctant tears escaped his eyes. He wiped at them with the back of his hand. He felt hopeful for the first time in months.

Aaron thought about the letters Robert had written to him, the ones he never got to read. “If you didn’t call me tonight, I never would have known. You could have gotten out of prison and you would have just thought I didn’t want to have anything to do with you and that would have been it. My mum would have got what she wanted.”

“What do you think she wants?”

Aaron thought about her futile attempts at trying to set him up on dates. Dates he had refused to go on. “To be happy, I guess. Meet someone new.”

One had nothing to do with the other, he thought. He didn't want or need another man in his life. He preferred solitude.

But the truth was that nothing would ever come close to what he had with Robert. 

“I wrote the first letter to tell you how much I regretted sending you those papers. It was a huge mistake. I was so mad and angry at myself for the situation I put us in, and I just didn’t want to hurt you anymore. I wanted you to move on. But deep down I hoped you wouldn’t.”

Everyone had just expected him to move on like Robert hadn't meant anything to him; and he had tried. God, he had tried. But it always ended the same way. Nothing could ever compare so he gave up trying. “I didn’t want it either. I never did. Even if you were going to be locked up for the rest of your life, I didn’t want anyone else. I still don’t.”

“I love you.” The words he’d waited months to say came out as a breathless whisper, he wasn’t even sure Aaron heard him. “I know there’s a chance you won’t be able to forgive me. And I wouldn't blame you. I just need you to know I would do anything to take back what I did, all the things I said. I didn’t mean them.”

_I’d climb every mountain_   
_And swim every ocean_   
_Just to be with you_   
_And fix what I’ve broken_   
_Oh, ‘cause I need you to see_   
_That you are the reason_

Aaron had come to understand and accept that sometimes things had to unfold in their own time.

But he had never expected this.

And despite his long-simmering anger over how things had ended between them, Aaron's feelings had never changed. The love for Robert was always there, locked away in the far corners of his heart no matter how hard he tried to forget him. “I’m still angry with you, but that doesn’t change the fact that I still love you. I never stopped.”

“I tried so hard to forget you, forget us, but I just couldn't. I should have known better." Hearing Aaron say he still loved him despite everything he'd done gave him hope. “My hearing is on Thursday.”

"I'll be there. And don't you dare tell me not to come," Aaron said before Robert had a chance to argue. It was his decision, and no one was going to persuade him to change it.

Robert didn't say a word.

With his time running out, Robert gave Aaron the details of the hearing. Before he hung up, he whispered, “I love you, husband” then the line went silent.

“I love you too,” Aaron whispered back, even though he knew Robert couldn’t hear him. He hung up, and for the first time in days, he slept.


	2. Chapter 2

_ Aaron - May 3, 2020 _

It was too late to change his mind, a storm already brewing inside of him.

On impulse, Aaron had decided to confront his mum about the letters. And he really needed a stiff drink. So, he strolled into the pub, determined to get some straight answers, already knowing he wasn't going to like them.

She had deliberately deceived him. Did she even feel guilty?

He glared at her as she poured glasses of sparkling wine for a group of women who looked like they had just walked out of a salon.

The letters had been personal, meant for his eyes only.

Robert had bared his soul knowing there was a fleeting chance he could be rejected.

_ I love you. Nothing and nobody, not even time, will change that.  _

_ I miss your voice. I miss your smile. I miss being in your arms. I miss your stupid jokes. I miss how you made me feel. I miss how you always made everything better. I miss everything about you. _

_ Even though you probably won't believe me, I only asked for a divorce because I was trying to protect you. I swear to you, it's the last thing I wanted to do. I thought I had no other choice. _

_ It was wrong. Everything is so wrong without you. _

_ I want to see you again. I want to see you look at me with those mesmerizing eyes that I fell for all those years ago. I want to tell you I still love you, I never stopped. _

In his second letter, Robert opened up about Lee's arrest in Ireland and his chance for an early release.

_ You didn't answer my last letter, but I can't give up trying. Lee is alive and I could be getting out of prison.  _

_ Please. If any part of you still loves me, still wants me, please don't give up on me. I can't lose you. You're everything. _

She had read every word and made an impulsive and selfish decision to keep him in the dark.

She had the nerve to smile at him. Her expression quickly changed when she looked at him. The anger in his eyes unmistakable, he appeared tense, on edge. Never a good sign.

She knew something was wrong.

The pub was full of people, but he didn't care. He glared at the shot of whiskey she placed in front of him and contemplated whether to drink it or throw it in her face.

He didn’t waste any time, unable to disguise his anger. “I talked to Robert last night.” He paused to gauge her reaction before continuing his rampage. “He wrote to me. Just after Christmas and then a few weeks ago. Letters that mysteriously disappeared. I don't even have to ask you where they went, do I?"

She'd barely seen him since he'd been back; he was either immersed in work or out with friends. And why had Robert called him? Sudden and sheer panic set in.

She thought about denying it but knew there was no point. He already knew the truth; it was written all over his face. “You shouldn’t be talking to him."

"He told me what he wrote. He still loves me. How could you keep this from me knowing how broken I was after he left? You could have destroyed everything!" He couldn't mask his hurt or his anger, it was bubbling to the surface and he couldn't stop it, didn't want to.

"You were just doing so well since you got back that I didn’t want to ruin it.”

"You had no right!" 

“I was trying to protect you!” Chas tried to explain.

A lame excuse, Aaron thought. That's all it was.

Paddy and Diane appeared at the back of the pub. Paddy glanced first to his wife to Aaron and back again. Aaron had always been a hothead, but the fire in his eyes was intense, radiating off him like wildfire. Everyone in the pub was now staring at them, unable to turn their attention away from the intense conversation taking place at the bar.

“Did you know?” Aaron demanded, looking at Paddy.

Paddy stared at his feet, like he suddenly found something interesting on his shoes.

“You knew,” Aaron spat out. “Who else knew?” He turned his attention back to his mum. He hated being so angry with her, but how could she keep this from him? She knew more than anyone how much he missed Robert; how hurt he had been after that last visit to the prison when Robert walked away from him. She'd watched him throw himself into his work, into one-night stands that left him feeling numb and empty. She had seen it all.

But in the end, nothing helped ease the unbearable pain he felt when he realized his marriage was over; everything they had built together destroyed.

But their marriage wasn't over. Far from it.

_ But if you're found someone new and have moved on, I will let you go. I want you to be happy. _

_ I haven't moved on. How could I? You're all I can think _ _ about,  _ Aaron had told him. 

He had survived the earthquake that had ripped his life from underneath him, but he still felt the tremors.

But there had been no hesitation when Robert had asked for forgiveness. The decision to forgive came as naturally as breathing.

The highs, the lows, the lessons, the setbacks, the comebacks, the love. He wanted it all.

Even if Robert had to remain in prison and their only form of communication was short telephone conversations and weekly visits, he would do it again. No hesitation, no regrets.

And in that moment Aaron knew why his mum had hid the letters from him.

She didn't want him to live his life that way. But it hadn't been her choice to make and that's what pissed him off the most.

Victoria appeared from the kitchen, visibly annoyed. As she wiped her hands on her apron, she saw Aaron, the heat in his eyes. The tension in the air was evident, and in that moment, she knew what she walked in on. And it wasn't pretty.

"I suppose you know too." The look on her face confirmed his suspicions. “I can’t believe this. Everyone knew.”

“Aaron.” Victoria walked around the bar and held out a hand to him, but he stepped back as if he had been burned. “He didn’t want to involve you. He thought you were over.”

"He only thought we were over because I never got his letters! If I had he would have known that I never stopped loving him and that I wanted him back." He glared at Chas. "You stole that from not only me but Robert too."

He felt foolish as he wiped at the few tears that had escaped, his silver wedding band in plain sight for everyone to see. He had slipped it back on his finger this morning without even thinking about it. “He knows better now.” Aaron fiddled with his ring. “He’s still my husband." His confession stunned everyone. “I never sent the papers back. I made everyone believe that I had because I know that's what everyone wanted me to do. But it wasn't right for me. I couldn't let him go. I never will.”

He grabbed the shot of whiskey in front of him and downed it, the hot liquid sliding down his throat.

He walked out of the pub without looking back. He didn't care about anything except making sure his husband came home.

_ There goes my hands shaking _

_ And you are the reason _

_ My heart keeps bleeding _

_ I need you now, oh _

_ If I could turn back the clock _

_ I’d make sure the light defeated the dark _

_ I’d spent every hour, of every day oh _

_ Keeping you safe _


	3. Chapter 3

_ Robert - May 3, 2020 _

Robert dreamed about Aaron all the time. But tonight was different.

Maybe it was hearing his voice again the night before when he impulsively decided to reach out one more time to the man he loved, hoping that Aaron hadn't completely given up on him.

He had been terrified that Aaron would hear his voice and hang up before he got a chance to say what had been weighing heavily on his heart.

But all of the worry and ache in his chest had ceased when Aaron had whispered the words he had longed to hear since that fateful day in November when he had made the worst decision of his life.

_ I love you. I never stopped. _

It killed him knowing he was the reason for all of the pain and hurt that was evident in Aaron's voice.

Saying I'm sorry was never going to be enough, not even close. He had a lot to make up for.

_ You broke my heart. I'm not going to lie and pretend that I'm okay. Living without you has been like living without air. It's impossible. _

Letting Aaron go had been the hardest thing he had ever done. At the time he had thought it was for the best for both of them. He should have known better.

They had always known they were both hopeless without the other.

_ When you get out of jail, I'm not going to be able to keep my hands off you. _

Those words had sent shock waves of desire through his body.

_ Damn you, now that's all I'm going to be able to think about _ .

_ I know. _ Robert could almost see the grin on Aaron's face as if he was right there in his cell with him. 

He had trouble sleeping most nights, but tonight whether it was from pure exhaustion or the sudden turn of events that offered him another chance to live the life he so desperately wanted, he drifted off to sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He dreamed of Aaron, the smell of his hair, the feel of his skin, the touch of his lips. Vividly, like they hadn't spent months apart.

They were back at home, their home. Robert hadn’t even shut the door behind them before Aaron had grabbed him by his shirt and had pushed him up against the nearest wall, the intense passion between them undeniable. They couldn't get close enough to each other, frantically pulling at the barrier of clothes between them. The first kiss was intense, the second more passionate than the first. The heat between them intensified as they made their way to the couch and removed the last barrier of clothes that was hindering their need for the feel of skin against skin that they both craved.

Robert woke up suddenly, gasping for air. The dream had felt so real; he could still feel the taste of Aaron on his lips. But it wasn't real; it was just a dream.

_ Do you have any idea how much I've missed touching you? Making love to you?  _

Aaron's words haunted him, made him ache. 

Just the thought of being intimate again with Aaron had his heart beating fast and his pulse racing. The reality that they could have it all again made him nervous. He had nearly destroyed everything.

If Aaron's family had their way Aaron never would have found out about the letters, how he felt. If he hadn't made the phone call on impulse last night like he had, would Aaron ever have known how much regret he carried with him? How losing him had felt like a death sentence?

He didn't want to think about it. Things were different now. He could get through the rest of the week knowing Aaron still loved him, still wanted him, despite everything.

God, he loved that man.

Maybe in the eyes of Chas and Paddy he would never be the man Aaron deserved, but damn it, when this was all over and he walked out of this awful place he was going to make damn sure they made up for everything they'd lost.


	4. Chapter 4

_ Aaron – May 4, 2020 _

Aaron sipped hot coffee as he admired the progress of the coffee shop in the final stages of construction that he and Marcus had invested in and designed from the ground up.

He had woken up early, still reeling from the confrontation with his mum in the pub the previous night. Better to think about something much more pleasant, he thought. Something that didn't leave a bitter taste on his tongue.

Like the phone call from Robert late last night that had been impulsive and unexpected.

It had been just what he needed after his perfectly justifiable anger had eased.

Robert and his irresistible, blatant attempts at flirtation had cheered him up. And made him more than a little turned on.

_ I wish I could see you right now.  _

_ You wouldn't want to. I just finished reaming out my mum at the pub. _

_ I would have loved to see that. _

_ You would not. I got really mad. _

_ You're never sexier than when you're mad. _

_ Stop it. _

_ I wish I could kiss you right now. _

That had ignited a fire.

_ Seriously stop it. _

_ I'm sorry, I just miss you. Living without you has been worse than I ever imagined. I just want you; all of you. I'm selfish, but I can't help it. _

_ Yeah maybe, but you're mine. I love you, you idiot. _

_ I've missed kissing you. _

_ Well, you do have a lot of making up to me to do. _

_ Oh, I plan on it. You're going to forget you were ever mad at me. _

_ You seem awfully sure of yourself.  _

Robert's voice turned quiet and somber.  _ I don't deserve your forgiveness. _

_ Maybe not, but you're getting it anyway. _

Fuck, he was in trouble. Three more days, he thought. 

_ I can make it. But then I'm going to kiss the hell out of him. _

But right now he had business to take care of.

Dressed comfortably in jeans and a navy-blue hoody, his light brown hair concealed by a red baseball cap, Marcus took a seat in the chair beside Aaron, eyeing his partner with a curious glance. Aaron looked different. He was happy.

Marcus, a highly intelligent and skilled businessman with several successful enterprises under his belt, had been introduced to him by Paddy three months ago and they instantly hit it off as friends. Marcus had developed a crush on Aaron early, but never acted on it. Aaron was nowhere close to being ready to be in a relationship, casual or otherwise. He was still hung up on his ex who was in prison for killing a man.

But things had drastically changed. Not only was Aaron still married but there was a very good chance his husband would be released from prison.

“I heard what happened last night.” Marcus broke the awkward silence between them.

Marcus was an old family friend of Paddy’s, so Aaron wasn’t surprised. Aaron shrugged. “I really don’t want to talk about it,” he said.

“Okay,” Marcus said slowly. “Well, if you ever want to talk, you know I’m here for you.” He was falling hard for Aaron despite all the roadblocks standing in his way, and this newest development had thrown another wrench into his plans to make Aaron fall for him, too.

Aaron finished his coffee and slammed his cup down on the table, irritated. “I suppose you’re going to tell me that I should just forget about him and walk away just like everyone else.”

Marcus was about to say something when they spotted Paddy walking in their direction.

Aaron wanted to run and hide. He was not in the mood for another scene.

“Marcus,” Paddy said and shook his hand. Then he glanced at Aaron, waiting for his initial reaction to his surprise visit, hoping he wouldn't be turned away. “I’m really sorry about last night, and so is your mum.”

Aaron thought about just keeping his mouth shut, but he was still angry and unable to hold back. “You both lied to me. My own family,” he said, standing up and stuffing his hands in his pockets. “As much as I would love to stay and continue our lovely chat from last night, I have to go meet with some suppliers.”

Paddy looked up at the metal blue and white sign above the door. This new venture had been a saving grace for Aaron, Paddy thought. “Sacred Grounds” was going to open soon and it was going to be spectacular.

Because he understood Aaron’s anger and hostility and didn’t want to be on the receiving end of his warpath anymore than he already was, Paddy kept his mouth shut and watched him go.

“So much for your brilliant idea,” Marcus said to Paddy sarcastically after Aaron got into his car and drove away.

“We thought Robert would be in prison for life,” Paddy said. Despite what he told Aaron to keep the peace between them, he had always had serious doubts that Robert would ever be the right man for him. But if there was one thing that was never going to change, that was how Aaron felt about Robert. No amount of time that had passed had seemed to change that, no matter how many times Robert screwed up.

“And now he’s most likely coming back here,” Marcus said, his tone harsh. “Now I’m stuck running this business with someone I wish was mine but will never be. I'm sure this husband of his won't take too kindly to me considering what he went to prison for.”

“Let’s not give up just yet,” Paddy said. “Come on, show me inside. I want to see how things are shaping up.”

They were in the final stages of construction. The counter in sleek white granite would be the focal point in front of the big window where baristas would take orders and silver and black bar stools which hadn't been delivered yet would give customers a comfortable place to sit while they waited for their order from their ever-growing menu. Wood tables and colorful chairs would be arranged throughout the rest of the room and would be lined with napkin dispensers and bowls with cream and sugar.

Sacred Grounds would open in three weeks, if they kept on schedule. Marcus had foolishly thought that if he and Aaron worked countless hours and late nights together to turn this old abandoned cottage into a family-friendly coffee house that they would become more than friends, business partners.

It was a long shot, he thought, but he had Paddy and Chas on his side to help nudge Aaron along. So far their attempts had been futile, but there was still time.

But he wasn’t giving up.


	5. Chapter 5

_ Aaron – May 5, 2020 _

Aaron had reached his breaking point. The headaches from dealing with contractors and suppliers for the coffee house, his friends, and family with their critical judgments on the way he was running his life. He was emotionally exhausted; stress and anxiety wreaking its havoc. He needed to escape.

It was cold and lightly drizzling when he climbed in his car in the early morning, turned the ignition on, stepped on the gas and left the village in the dust.

His destination had been decided last night after a phone call from Robert’s solicitor asking him if he could make an important meeting at his office to discuss Robert's upcoming hearing which was two days away.

He didn't bother telling anyone where he was going; he didn’t want or need the added aggravation.

He sent a quick text to Marcus to let him know he had some things to deal with out of town, providing as little information as possible, and that he would return later in the day to meet the coffee bean supplier that was scheduled to deliver a shipment.

He drove, his mind focused on what was waiting for him.

Robert. His husband.

Aaron was nervous, anxious, and excited all rolled into one. His heartfelt like it was going to leap out of his chest. He had waited months for this but it felt like years. Why was he so damn nervous, his hands clammy?

He stepped out of the elevator that had taken him up to the sixth floor and stared blankly at the door in front of him.

This was it. He took a deep breath and stepped inside.

* * *

_ Robert _

Robert tugged nervously at his tie, trying to settle his nerves.

He felt like he’d been waiting for hours for Aaron to show up. It was nothing compared to the months they had spent apart since his incarceration, but it didn't ease the butterflies in his stomach.

The door finally opened, and for the first time in six months, Robert and Aaron laid eyes on each other.

Aaron tried to look composed, but he felt so flustered and nervous he was sure it was written all over his face. He tried to think of what he could say to break the ice between them, but his train of thought was lost when he saw Robert standing there looking more vulnerable than he'd ever seen him. Unsure what to do with his hands, he stuffed them inside the pockets of his jeans.

Robert didn't hesitate to close the gap between them and pulled Aaron into his arms and held on as if his life depended on it. Aaron wrapped his arms around him and buried his head against Robert's chest, desperate to feel him, craving his touch.

Robert lifted one hand and touched the base of Aaron’s neck. They stayed locked in their embrace, neither said a word, grateful for the chance to have a private moment alone, just the two of them.

In the blink of an eye, it was over.

“You must be Aaron.” George’s voice brought them back to the present.

Disappointed at the unwelcome interruption, Aaron and Robert reluctantly pulled apart so Aaron could shake his hand.

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” George said, and held out two chairs, side by side. “Why don’t you both sit down, and we’ll get started.”

They didn't break eye contact as they each sat down, Robert first then Aaron.

He was invisible to them; they only had eyes for each other.

It was evident to George that they were deeply in love. Robert hadn't spoken about his husband until recently; he had been very closed off about his personal life up until this last week when Lee's revelation had come to light.

Robert grabbed Aaron’s hand, not breaking eye contact. “I'm glad you came,” Robert murmured.

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” Aaron whispered back.

George sensed they needed a few more minutes alone so he made an excuse of needing something from his office and stepped out.

They didn't even hear him.

Robert leaned in closer and laid his forehead against Aaron’s. He felt a sense of calmness overcome him; he relaxed under Aaron's touch. “I love you."

“I love you too.”

How had it been six months since their last goodbye when with just one touch of his hand he felt like no time had passed at all? Aaron wondered.

Robert couldn't help but notice Aaron was wearing his wedding ring. The silver band he had placed on Aaron's finger on their wedding day symbolized their love, commitment, and the promises they had made to each other. He caressed it lightly.

Aaron cleared his throat which had suddenly turned dry and reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the black box that had kept Robert's ring safe since the day he had taken it off. Robert’s stared at it and watched as Aaron grasped his left hand and placed the ring back on his finger.

“Right where it belongs,” Aaron said, before they both leaned in and their lips touched.

They were smiling at each other, lost in their own world when George came back in the room. He hated to interrupt, but they had business to take care of.

"I'm very confident that on Thursday you will be walking out of jail a free man." George made a few notes on his legal pad, "but there's a lot of work still ahead of us."

Robert looked at George now, a smile reaching his eyes for the first time in months. There was a new warmth in his eyes as he looked at Aaron, who felt powerless under his gaze. Aaron secretly wished they were alone, but he knew there would be plenty of time for that later.

* * *

The three of them spent over an hour going over what would happen at the hearing and what they could do to give Robert the best chance at being exonerated. Lee's confession, along with the testimony from the doctor that had been bribed to help Lee fake his "death", coupled with Robert's good behavior in prison, would hopefully be more than enough to convince the judge to overturn his conviction and set him free.

George looked down at his watch. "They're waiting for you outside to take you back." Aaron and Robert both looked dejected, their eyes giving a glimpse into the heartache they both felt. "In two days’ this will all be over." He touched Robert's hand briefly. "Then you'll be able to go home."

Robert just nodded, not trusting his own voice. He hated that he had to leave Aaron again. Knowing the drill, he turned around and felt the click as handcuffs were locked around his wrists. He looked once more at Aaron, who was failing miserably at hiding his own disappointment that their reunion was coming to an end, even though this time it was just temporary.

"I'll see you on Thursday," Robert said, a small glimmer of hope reaching his eyes. 

"Yeah," Aaron said. "Just remember what I said."

Robert couldn't ignore the sexy, cocky grin shot in his direction. "What?"

"That as soon as you're out of prison, I won't be able to keep my hands off you." He leaned in and gave Robert one more kiss, a light peck on the lips that promised more. Much more.

"You think I'm going to be able to keep mine off you?" Robert said. As he was ushered out of the room by two police officers who would take him back to his cold, dark jail cell, panic set in. 

What if he didn't get released? What if all this had been for nothing? Could they get through the rest of his sentence with just telephone calls and short visits?

They would, he thought. It would just be hard as hell.

He had to be positive, Robert thought. His lawyer was, Aaron was. He had to be too or what was the point?

The only thing that eased the dread he felt was envisioning what it would be like to walk back into the real world a free man with his husband at his side, ready to conquer anything that came their way. He knew things would not be easy. Their life together had never been and would probably never be.

He was going to make damn sure they made it this time.


	6. Chapter 6

_ Robert – May 7, 2020 _

Life was full of roadblocks and could be unpredictable. He had faced countless hurdles over the years and had always come out on the other side.

And this was the hardest hurdle yet, Robert thought as he tightened his tie with unsteady hands, trying to calm the butterflies that had settled in the pit of his stomach. His whole future was about to be decided, but he was optimistic about the outcome.

He heard the click of the steel bars that had isolated him from the real world for too long, holding him prisoner. His life behind bars had been torture and intolerable. He never allowed himself to think about a life beyond them. Now it was all he could think about.

But today, if things went to the way he hoped, he would never be held captive again.

He met George at the end of the hall, ran a hand through his hair, and tried to block out the negative thoughts that wouldn't fade.

_ You're an idiot if you think they're just going to set you free. _

_ You don't deserve to be free. _

_ No one wants you to get out of prison. They will still hate you. _

_ But Aaron loves me and that's all that matters. _

Freedom was waiting for him. And Aaron.

He didn’t need anything else.

* * *

When Robert stepped into the courtroom, he first saw Victoria and Diane, and to his surprise, Paddy and Chas were there too.

He panicked when he didn’t see Aaron.

Robert had just sat down and was whispering something to George when the door opened again.

Aaron.

He looked sexy in his black suit, Robert thought as he watched Aaron take a seat beside Victoria.

He had done it on purpose, Robert decided, but he wasn't going to complain.

_ I love you _ , Robert mouthed to him.

_ I love you too _ , Aaron mouthed back.

And then the judge stood up and the hearing began.

It took the judge seven minutes. Seven minutes to go through the new evidence, Lee’s confession to everything that had transpired from Victoria’s rape, faking his own death, fleeing the country, and assaulting someone else.

Another five minutes passed until a decision had been made.

Robert stood up, closed his eyes, and prayed for a miracle.

“In light of the new evidence presented here today and Mr. Posner’s confession, it is the court’s decision to over-turn your conviction and release you from custody with credit for time served.”

The world stood still. Robert blinked, felt the tears before they came rushing down his face.

“You are, however, required to complete 300 hours of community service to complete your sentence and you are not permitted to leave the country for a period of six months pending approval from the court.”

He didn’t plan on going anywhere. He just wanted to go home.

He wasn’t sure who got there first; all he could remember was being wrapped up in Aaron’s embrace; the smell of his aftershave, the feel of his hands as they wound around Robert’s neck. They both closed their eyes, reveling in the moment they had waited months for.

He couldn't wait anymore. Robert grabbed Aaron's face with his hands and kissed him, long and passionately, giving in to every overwhelming emotion he had been feeling. He pulled Aaron closer.

"Promise me you won't leave me again. I couldn't handle it," Aaron said, his voice muffled, his head still buried against Robert's shoulder.

"I can't promise you that things will be easy, but I can promise you I will never leave you again."

"I don't want easy. I want messed up with you," Aaron smiled and took his hand. "Let's go home."

* * *

Relief washed over Robert as he stepped outside the courthouse a free man.

He shared a private moment with Victoria and Diane. They laughed, they hugged, they made plans.

Diane watched Aaron tense up, his eyes dark as Chas and Paddy tried to talk to him. He wasn’t ready to forgive and forget just yet, but that would come with time as it had countless times before. It would take time for everyone, especially Robert, to overcome everything that had happened because of his incarceration. It wasn’t going to be an easy road, but they would get there.

“Robert.” He turned around after watching Victoria and Diane get into their car and drive away to find Chas looking at him with curious eyes.

He thought about everything they had gone through over the years, the countless times Chas had told him he would never be good enough for Aaron. He would never live up to her expectations, but it just didn't matter. The only thing that did was that he loved Aaron. And despite all of his faults and the numerous mistakes he'd made, Aaron loved him too.

“Chas.” He reached out his hand, offering forgiveness. His anger and resentment floated away like a balloon in the sky. Time was too precious to him now. There were more important things he wanted to concentrate his energy on.

Chas took the hand he offered, and at that moment, any ill feelings she felt towards him faded. She’d seen the way Aaron and Robert had looked at each other across the courtroom; no matter what they went through, no matter how much time they spent apart, there was never going to be anyone else.

“I’m so sorry." She wrapped her arms around him and at that moment they forgave each other and let go of all of the pain and hurt that had lingered between them.

“It’s okay,” he said. “I know you were just trying to protect Aaron.” Robert looked over at Aaron who was talking to someone on his phone. “That’s what I was trying to do, too. Though not very successfully.”

Paddy joined them, hesitating briefly before reaching his hand out to Robert. They shook hands, ending any grudges either of them held against each other.

Aaron walked over after ending his phone call, and hugged his mum then Paddy. “Thank you,” he murmured. If Robert could forgive them, so could he.

“We love you,” Chas said. “We thought we were doing what was best for you.”

“We realize now that the best thing for you is….” Paddy put an arm around Robert, "this right here.”

“Don’t let us keep you. I’m sure there are other places you’d rather be.” Chas hugged Aaron. “But don’t be surprised to come home to a surprise party,” she warned Robert. “Tomorrow at the pub, at 2 o’clock.”

Being at a party surrounded by people was the last thing he wanted, but he was touched by the gesture. “Thanks Chas. Really. For coming today, for taking care of Aaron while I was gone. For forgiving me. It means a lot.”

* * *

Aaron drove back to the village with one hand on the wheel, the other on Robert’s knee. Aaron caught him up on life in Emmerdale; Liv away at college in Scotland; how business at the scrapyard was fairing; the coffee house. When Aaron brought up Marcus, Robert felt a sting of jealousy, pushed it away. 

It felt so good to be free. As Robert stepped out of the car, he took a deep breath. He had taken so many little things for granted before he had gone to prison. The smell of fresh, clean air, the aroma of fresh coffee brewing; being able to sleep in his own bed. The feeling of being wrapped up in the arms of the man he loved in that bed.

He cursed himself for feeling insecure. Even if this guy, or any other guy, was interested in pursuing Aaron it didn't matter. Aaron loved him; that was the one thing he had no doubts about.

But he was jealous, and he hated himself for it.

Robert's silence on the rest of the drive worried Aaron. He had been thoughtless bringing up Marcus after what they had just gone through. Today was supposed to be about Robert's freedom and nothing else and he had ruined it. 

Robert leaned back against the car door and closed his eyes. Aaron watched him for a moment before he placed his hands on either side of his face and kissed him. "I'm sorry I brought up Marcus. I wasn't thinking. But you don't have anything to worry about. When I look at you, I still see the person I love. Nothing's changed for me. Even when I hated you for walking away from me, it was still you. No matter how hard I tried to forget you, I couldn't. No one will ever come close."

Robert looked at him then, a small smile curved his lips. "I know," he said.

"Even if you had to stay in prison, I still wouldn't want anyone else. I love you. Only you." He kissed him again, deeper this time.

"If you're trying to seduce me, it's working," Robert murmured, his voice filled with desire. He cleared his throat. "We better get inside."

Aaron grabbed Robert’s bags from the trunk and together they walked down the driveway and into the warm comfort of their home.

And just like in his dream Robert slammed the door behind them, pushed Aaron up against the wall, and pressed their lips together.

They had longed for this for so long. To touch each other, to  _ feel again _ .

He had survived being arrested, coped with life on the inside, but it nearly destroyed him. This moment made all of that pain and torture worth it.

He was a different person now; stronger, empathetic, careful. But his love for the man in front of him hadn't changed. If anything it was stronger than ever. Life behind bars had shown him how much he needed him.

Aaron gripped his shirt, deepened their kiss, felt the heat rise. Robert's throaty laugh against his mouth ignited the fire that was already burning inside of him. They pulled each other closer.

Hearts hammering, they pulled frantically at the last barrier of clothes between them, desperate for the feel of skin on skin they both craved.

Lips to lips, scars to scars, pulse to pulse. They got lost in each other and locked the world away.


	7. Chapter 7

Aaron caught up on emails and made a few phone calls while Robert slept upstairs.

He was responding to a text from the flooring installer when Robert came downstairs in jeans and a black t-shirt, his gaze focused on Aaron sitting in the kitchen with his laptop and papers scattered everywhere.

Robert poured himself a cup of freshly brewed coffee on the counter. He had managed to doze off again after he heard Aaron leave and go downstairs a few hours earlier, but the little bit of restful sleep he managed to get was interrupted by terrible nightmares that wrapped their evil hands around his soul and pulled until he shot up awake. His unconscious thoughts consumed him, and he went into panic mode trying to remember where he was and why he was alone.

He sat next to Aaron, whose brows were furrowed in frustration.

Aaron looked up from his phone and immediately saw the bags under his husband's eyes. He looked exhausted. And scared. "Are you okay?" he said.

Robert wasn't ready to talk about the nightmares. They were cruel and relentless and he knew they wouldn't just disappear overnight. He would have to talk about it. But not today. "I'm fine," he lied.

Aaron knew not to force the subject. All he could do was offer his love and support, and to let Robert know he was there when he ws ready to talk. "It's going to be okay," he said instead. "You know whenever you're ready to talk, I'm here for you. Always."

"I know," Robert said quietly and touched Aaron's hand. "Thank you."

Aaron just smiled and went back to studying the papers in front of him. “I don’t know I got persuaded to do this,” he said, rubbing his face.

Robert sipped coffee, content despite the fear and anxiety. "What happened?” he wanted to know.

“They installed the wrong flooring. Now we are going to be delayed another three days until they can deliver the ones we ordered.”

Robert listened as Aaron vented about the chestnut colored hardwood floors that had been installed when he had specifically ordered oak. Added to his frustration was the wrong paint colors had been delivered. Teal instead of smoky grey. Aaron was at the end of his rope.

“Look, I know we talked a little about this last night, but I want you to know, nothing has ever happened between me and Marcus. But there are a few things I need to tell you. I didn’t tell you last night because I didn’t want anything to ruin our first night home together.”

Worried, Robert put his mug down. “Okay,” he said slowly. “Let’s hear it.”

Aaron got up to pace. “I thought our marriage was over. When I got the papers, I yelled, I broke things. I overacted a little." More than a little, he thought now. He had broken not only the picture frame that had held their wedding photograph, but countless vases and more than a few dishes in the kitchen.

“That was all my fault. It wasn’t yours.”

“Yeah, but what I did after that is.” Aaron looked at him, his face shrouded with guilt.

“Aaron, I went to prison. We both thought it was for a long time. Whatever you did after I got locked up, I’m not going to be mad or upset, so spill it. What happened?”

Aaron took his hand, and together they made their way to the couch. Robert held his breath and waited; inside he was struggling to stay composed. No matter what Aaron was going to tell him, they would get through it. Aaron had forgiven him time and again for mistakes he’d made in the past; he could do the same.

Regret weighing him down, Aaron knew he needed to be honest for them to move forward. Their new future started today, and he wanted to start it with a clean slate with no secrets between them.

Aaron paused, unsure where to start. “I had a few one-night stands. I’m not proud of it.” He looked down, unable to meet Robert's eyes.

Robert sat quietly, taking Aaron’s admission in. He wasn’t mad, angry, or upset. He understood. Hell, he thought, if their situation had been reversed and Aaron had gone to prison and served him with divorce papers, he might have done the same thing. Not because he wanted someone else or because he had fallen out of love, but because the hurt was so real, so raw that it could consume you, making you act reckless.

“It’s okay,” Robert said, pulling Aaron into his arms. “It’s okay,” he repeated.

“How is it okay? I cheated on you. Even though we were separated, we were still married, and I slept with other people.”

“Aaron, I’m the one that cut off contact with you. I made you think I didn’t care. This is on me, not you.” Robert pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I just want us to move on. If I could just forget the past six months, trust me I would. I hate myself for what I put you through.”

“There’s more. I found out that it was my mum and Paddy that orchestrated this business arrangement with Marcus and I. He’s an old family friend of Paddy’s so I never questioned it. I was so caught up in my grief of losing you that I just went with what they thought I should do. I needed a distraction, and they took advantage of that. But by the time we had started to break ground with the shop, I found out about it. And then I started to realize they were also trying to play matchmaker. They wanted me to move on, I get that, but I wasn't ready, but that didn't seem to matter to them. And you have to believe me, I'm not and have never been interested in Marcus romantically."

Robert’s eyes narrowed angrily. “They want you and him to be together.” He had always been aware of Chas and Paddy’s skepticism where he was concerned, and he knew in their own way they were trying to do what was best for Aaron, but this was manipulation, plain and simple.

“I’ve been trying to confront them about it, but I always lose my nerve. I’m sorry, after the way they acted yesterday, I thought maybe they had come around and realized their plan wasn’t going to work.”

“Has something happened since we saw them yesterday?”

Aaron didn’t say anything, just handed his phone to Robert. He glanced down at the message on the screen, his temper flaring as he read the text Marcus had sent that morning.

_ Your mum told me about you and Robert. I know she’s pretending to support it, but she doesn’t. You deserve someone better. I know I can be that man for you. Please, all I’m asking is for you to hear me out. Meet me at the shop at 11 and we can talk. _

Aaron reached for Robert's hand. “I’m going to find a way to get out of the business. I’m not putting us at risk. Never again.”

He knew Aaron loved him, and that was enough. They would deal with the rest later. “Come on,” he said, pulling him towards the stairs. “Let’s not think about anything or anyone else right now. I just want to concentrate on you.”


	8. Chapter 8

When Robert insisted on going with him, Aaron didn’t object. It wasn't about jealousy or intimidation; he trusted Aaron. Yesterday he had felt differently, but he attributed his brief moment of insecurity to the overwhelming feeling of being released from prison. Today, his mind was clearer. 

And last night they had reaffirmed their commitment to each other, fulfilling their promise not to take their hands off each other. And their lips. More than once they had extinguished that fire. 

Had sex between them always been so intense, insatiable? 

Their foundation was unshakable, he knew that now more than ever. 

He promised himself he would not be confrontational or make a scene. He was going to support Aaron and to see this project that Aaron spoke about with so much pride. 

Robert secretly took pleasure in the look of disappointment on Marcus' face when they walked through the door. 

Robert held Aaron’s hand, his first instinct to be protective of his husband. He had failed in that area before; he wouldn’t let that happen again. 

“Got your text.” Aaron didn't bother saying hello; he had very little patience left. 

“I didn’t expect you to bring company.” Marcus eyed Robert suspiciously. 

“What did you expect?” Robert retorted. "I know what you're trying to do and it's not going to work. He's not interested." 

Marcus ignored him. “You and I, we built this together,” he said to Aaron. “I didn’t work this hard building this place with you for you to throw it all away on someone that just destroys everything he touches. He never should have gotten out of prison!” 

Robert abandoned every promise he had made to himself not to interfere. “You bastard,” he growled, but before he could confront Marcus, Aaron placed a hand on his chest, stopping him. 

“Don’t,” Aaron told him. “It’s not worth it.” 

His temper flaring, Robert nodded. “You’re right, okay.” 

Aaron turned his attention back to Marcus, fuming with anger. “This ends now. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that you and I are never going to happen. I don't know why you can't get it through your thick head.” 

“You drove yourself crazy when he left. You weren't exactly faithful. You can't stand there and tell me you love him after what he did. You didn't hesitate to sleep around as soon as he was locked up. Your relationship couldn't have been worth that much if you jumped into the sack with other men so quickly.” 

Robert seethed in anger. "You don't know what you're talking about. You know nothing about us." 

"From what I hear when things get tough you jump ship. It'll happen again," Marcus said, trying anything he could to cast doubt. He turned to Robert. "And how can you sit there and pretend everything is fine when your husband cheated on you?" 

“I don’t know what you heard from Chas and Paddy, and I don’t really care, but I don't blame Aaron for trying to move on. I thought I was going to be in prison for a long time. I pushed him away so he could move on.” Robert wasn’t going to do anything, but he was damned if he wasn’t going to defend his husband. “And from what I hear, he has shot you down more than once. And let me tell you something. I’m back now and I’m not going anywhere. If you so much as think about trying anything with him again, you’ll have me to answer to.” 

“Is that a threat?” Marcus taunted him. 

“No, just a promise. This,” Robert said, grabbing Aaron’s face and kissing him passionately, “you can’t touch, no matter how hard you try.” 

“You either buy me out or I’ll sell my share in the business to someone else. I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to be in business together anymore. And as of this minute, we’re no longer friends.” Aaron held up his hand before Marcus could protest. “You thought you could manipulate me. You continue to berate me for things I’ve done to make me feel so guilty that I would what? Turn to you to make me feel better? You don’t know me at all, mate.” 

Aaron and Robert walked out without looking back, neither of them looking forward to what they had to do next. 


	9. Chapter 9

Robert felt uneasy about going to the pub. He relaxed instantly when he felt Aaron’s hand in his; like Aaron knew he was feeling nervous about what he was about to face. Most of the panic he was feeling subsided, but the nerves were still there, making a home in the pit of his stomach.

Victoria was the first one to greet them at the door, little Harry perched on her hip.

Robert was drawn to him immediately and reached for his nephew. It was hard for him to look at Harry and not be reminded of Lee. But he was so darn cute and looked so much like Victoria.

His thoughts flew to Seb. He missed his son so much. Aaron had told him about Rebecca and Ross leaving the village. He had put a phone call into Rebecca earlier and was surprised when she offered to bring Seb to Emmerdale in a few weeks for a short visit when she had some time off so that Seb could reunite with his dads.

He couldn’t wait.

Robert was approached by other familiar faces; some shook his hand, others offered to buy him a pint. No one brought up his time in prison or the incident that had put him there. He laughed, he cracked jokes, he drank. He started to feel normal again.

But not everyone was happy he was back.

Marcus sat in a corner booth with a few friends nursing a pint like a caged tiger ready to pounce. Robert tried to ignore him, doing his best to act oblivious to the taunting looks being cast his direction. Robert knew Marcus was trying to provoke him and he refused to give in.

Robert sat with Aaron his arm draped around his husband’s shoulders in a table at the back of the pub. He was so preoccupied listening to Aaron as he described in detail exactly what he was going to do to him when they got home that neither of them noticed Chas and Paddy walk up to their table before it was too late to avoid them.

They had to deal with this sooner or later, he thought.

“I brought you another pint.” Chas placed a glass in front of Robert. “Are you enjoying your welcome home party?” She sat down beside him while Paddy took a seat next to Aaron.

Robert moved closer to Aaron as he was finding it harder to contain his animosity towards them.

“It’s great,” he lied. He just wanted to go back home.

“Mum.” Sensing Robert’s apprehension, Aaron took the reins and spoke first. “We need to talk with you both privately.”

“About what?” Chas asked. “Is everything okay?”

“No, everything is definitely not okay.” Aaron was trying to keep calm, but his voice was failing him. “I know that you and Paddy aren’t as happy as you claim to be about Robert being released.”

Chas and Paddy shared a look.

“What are you talking about?” Paddy said. “Of course, we’re happy. It’s great to have you home,” He looked at Robert. “Did we do something to make you think otherwise?”

Aaron pointed a finger in Marcus’ direction. “Marcus told me you were just pretending to be happy for us, that you both basically orchestrated everything; that it was your idea to go into business together. And that you wanted me to get involved with him. Romantically.” He looked at them, daring them to say that everything Marcus had told him was a lie.

“It’s not what you think,” Chas said quickly.

“Then explain it to me,” Aaron snapped.

“We just wanted you to be happy,” Paddy said tried to explain. “You have to believe that. Things were going so well. For the first time in months, we saw you smile. You were sleeping better, eating more. You weren't the wreck that you had been when...." He looked at Robert. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. We were just worried about him. He rarely slept after you went to prison. We were just trying to help.”

It didn't matter what their reasons were. Aaron felt deceived by the people who had claimed to love him the most. “And to top it all off you took the letters Robert wrote to me and got rid of them because you didn't want us to get back together. You knew what would happen. You knew that if I found out he still loved me, I would have gone straight to the prison. And you would have been right. This is all on you. I don't know if I can ever trust either of you again.” Fuming with anger, he downed the rest of his beer. “I think the party is over.”

“Aaron, please love. You need to hear us out.” Chas reached for his arm. He pulled away like he had been burned.

“Don’t touch me.” Realizing he was trapped, unable to get out of the booth with Paddy blocking his exit, he glared at Paddy. “Get out of my way before I say something I’m going to regret.”

“Please don’t leave, we can talk about this,” Paddy pleaded with him. “We didn’t mean to hurt either of you.”

Robert, who hadn’t said a word, wasn’t sure if he was more insulted or pissed off. Aaron’s family had lied to his face, pretending they were happy for them, when they weren't. They wanted Aaron with someone that wasn't him. If they had their way he would still be rotting in prison.

Victoria, who had gone to the back to feed Harry, stopped at their table. “What is going on over here?”

“We were just having a conversation with my mum and Paddy about staying the hell out of my life,” Aaron told her.

Confused, Victoria looked to her brother for an explanation, but decided to drop the subject when she saw Robert’s face. He looked hurt. “Rob?” she said softly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just been a long day,” he lied.

Chas hesitantly stood up to let Robert and Aaron out of the booth. Now wasn’t the time or the place to continue this conversation. They were too upset to talk rationally.

Aaron grabbed his jacket. “We’ll continue this another time.”

Robert was already halfway to the door; he’d had enough and Aaron didn’t blame him.


	10. Chapter 10

Aaron cursed and regretted not shutting his phone off last night when it buzzed for the third time that morning. "She just doesn't give up," he muttered as he picked it up.

His mum's newest message was identical to the ones he had already ignored.

Aaron, please stop ignoring my calls and messages. Call me back or message me back, something. Please.

She was stubborn, he had to give her that.

Last night he had been too preoccupied to care or respond to any of her calls or messages.

Robert had been angry.

_ The night before  _

There was a flash of heat in his eyes when he slammed the front door behind them and threw his wallet and keys on the table. He couldn't disguise how livid he was after the unpleasant scene at the pub.

Aaron felt defenseless; he didn’t know how or if he could fix it. They walked upstairs in silence; Aaron defeated and guilty, Robert resentful and insulted.

Despite his dark mood, Robert admired the way Aaron had fought for him, for them. Aaron never let anyone dictate how he lived his life. He was stubborn as hell, and Robert had never found it as sexy as he had tonight.

On the bed, Robert took Aaron’s face in his hands to reassure him that they were okay, and murmured softly, “thank you for what you said back there.”

“I can’t apologize enough for all of that. I don't even know what to say right now. I'm so angry.” His anger slowly depleted as Robert trailed a finger up his chest to unzip his jacket.

“Hey,” he murmured, “it wasn’t your fault. I can’t blame them for resenting me, I just don’t understand how they can try and control your life that way. If you had wanted to be with someone else, I would have let you go. I would never want to force you to be here with me if you wanted to be with someone else, no matter how much it would hurt.”

“I don’t want to be with anyone else. Ever. You’re it for me,” Aaron whispered as he rolled Robert onto his back, and greedily took his mouth in one passionate kiss then another.

_ The Next Day _

Later that morning, Robert opened up about his time in prison. Aaron listened, empathetic as Robert recounted the good, bad and the ugly. He had struggled, it had not been easy those first few months as he adjusted to his new normal. It had been difficult; every day had been a new challenge that he had to overcome. He had gotten involved in a few fights, but mostly kept out of trouble after that. He started to write in a journal every day, finding it was the only way he could express how he was feeling, what he going through and everything he missed on the other side of the prison walls. Aaron had been the focal point of everything. The love they had lost, the unshakable feeling that they would never be over.

They skyped with Liv who was glad that Robert was out of jail, but gave him a hard time, making him promise that he wouldn't do anything stupid that would put him back in prison. She updated them on how her classes were going and her boyfriend Carter. She reluctantly agreed to maybe just maybe bring him back home for Christmas so they could meet him despite her initial refusal. Before they signed off, Liv told Robert she loved him and how much she had missed him, despite how much he winded her up.

“Aaron was a wreck without ya,” she told him. “If you ever put him through anything like that again, I may have to kill you.”

Liv had seen Aaron struggle more than anyone, Robert thought as he closed the laptop. With one foolish action, he had nearly destroyed everything. He still hated himself for it. He wouldn't let it happen again.

***

Chas had given up on expecting Aaron to return her messages, so she and Paddy used their spare key to let themselves into the Mill. She knew they were home; their car was parked in the drive, still wet from the light rain that had fallen earlier in the day.

Laughter was the first sound they heard.

Robert and Aaron were standing at the sink in the kitchen. Robert was holding the sink sprayer aimed at Aaron's face in one hand while Aaron attempted to shield his eyes from the impending strike.

"Don't you dare."

"Try and stop me."

"I thought you loved me."

"I do, but you started this." He had started it, Aaron thought with a smirk, when he had covered Robert's cheek with the blue-green icing from his cupcake earlier that morning.

Robert pressed the trigger on the nozzle and watched in amusement as water, icy and cold, drenched Aaron's shirt and face.

"I hate you." Aaron pushed water out of his eyes.

"You love me," Robert retorted. "Now come here and I'll dry you off." He put the sprayer back and pulled Aaron close, using a towel to wipe his face. "You're incredibly cute when you're mad." He leaned closer and laughed when Aaron swatted his hands away.

"I know." Stubbornly, Aaron pouted.

“What are you doing here?” Aaron demanded, when he spotted Chas and Paddy by the staircase, lurking in the shadows.

“You weren’t answering my messages so we decided to just stop by," Chas said as she approached them nervously. “Look, you both have a right to be angry with us. But you have to believe me we were only trying to do what we thought was best for you.” She looked at Robert. “We are both really sorry for how we've treated you. I was just so angry at you for leaving Aaron. When I tore up those letters, I wasn’t thinking. I should have told Aaron about them, let him decide for himself if he wanted to read them.”

Paddy agreed with his wife. “I am the one to blame for the situation with Marcus. I pushed you and him together. I led him to believe he had a chance with you. Now everything is all messed up, and I take full responsibility for that.”

Aaron knew there could be no peace without forgiveness. It wouldn't change the past but it gave them all a chance to move forward. When the dust settled, they were still family. Family was forever.

Aaron approached them. “I get where you were coming from, but you need to understand this. I'm only going to say it one more time. I love Robert and that's never going to change. I don’t want any more interference from either of you,” he said, pointing his finger at them. “Do you hear me?”

“You have our word.” Chas hugged her son, the ache in her chest easing.

Paddy reached out his hand to Robert, who hesitated briefly, but after a few seconds reached out his own hand, his anger slowly subsiding.

“What are you going to do about Marcus?” Chas hated to ruin the moment but had to ask.

Aaron shrugged. “I told him I’ll either find someone to buy me out or he’ll have to sell his share of the business to someone else. I can’t work with him, not after everything that has happened. And I don’t think Robert would be very comfortable with me working with him every day after the way he threw himself at me yesterday.”

“Hell no,” Robert said. “Not after I saw the way he looked at you. He would have devoured you right then if I hadn’t had been there.”

“But you sure showed him by kissing me right in front of him,” Aaron grinned.

“You’re mine. I won’t apologize for it.”

Chas and Paddy stayed for pasta and wine, both of them struck by how after all this time and everything they had been through from hell and back again, the love between Aaron and Robert had never wavered, if anything it had gotten stronger.

Robert finished tidying up the kitchen while Aaron showed them out.

“We can finish that tomorrow. Let’s go to bed.” Aaron took the towel from Robert’s hand and ran a hand under Robert’s shirt as he pressed their mouths together. Robert tugged at Aaron’s sweater.

The towel fell to the floor.

“At this rate, we won’t make it upstairs,” Aaron said against his mouth.

Robert broke the kiss and reached for his hand. Together they went upstairs and climbed into bed.

With one candle flickering, they made love.

"Thank you," Robert whispered as they drifted off to sleep.

"For what?" Aaron said sleepily.

"Loving me even when I gave you a million reasons you shouldn't."


	11. Chapter 11

He lurked in the shadows stalking his prey like a jaguar ready to pounce. He kept his distance as he prowled around the places they frequented; the pub where they stopped in for a pint and some food or to meet up with friends; their house where he was sure they spent most of their time in the bedroom; the cottage where Robert’s sister lived to visit her and Harry.

No one messed with Marcus Lafoy and got away with it.

He concealed the knife in his jacket pocket; the jagged blade felt cold against the fabric. The blade was small but sharp and would serve its purpose. He would revel in pressing it against Robert’s throat and piercing his skin until he bled.

But first things first. He had to get Robert to the abandoned cottage on the other side of town so no one could hear him scream.

Robert had to pay for what he’d taken from him. He was out of options. There was no turning back.

****

Robert had stopped by the pub for a quick drink while Aaron was at the coffee shop dealing with a last-minute problem with some furniture he had ordered that had been damaged on delivery. He wasn't sure how long he would be so Robert decided to make use of the time he had alone by working out the final arrangements for Rebecca and Seb's visit that was planned for the following week. He had just finished typing out an email to Rebecca when his phone buzzed.

His face turned cold when he read the cryptic message sent from an unknown number.

_ You and me need to have a chat about Aaron. Don't tell anyone or you'll regret it. You wouldn’t want Aaron to get hurt. Meet me at Kinser Cottage in one hour. Come alone. _

Direct and right to the point, Robert thought.

He considered ignoring the message. He knew it had come from Marcus; he wasn't stupid. He also wasn't naive to have believed Marcus was just going to give up easily. Though he didn't like it, he had seen the way Marcus had looked at Aaron. The guy had it bad. Robert couldn't blame him for that, he knew what that was like to fall so hard for someone that you couldn't think of anything else. Marcus wanted Aaron for himself and Robert knew it. He wasn't blind. Aaron with his god damned mesmerizing eyes and sexy smile were hard to resist.

He had fallen hard for those eyes and that smile too, he hadn't been able to resist it. The pull had been too strong. It still existed now. One look and he was lost. Every damn time.

But Aaron was his. And there was not a damn thing Marcus could do about it.

Marcus had been keeping his distance the past few days, only showing up at the coffee shop to help deal with last-minute preparations. Robert was grateful for that; he still felt the fierce pull inside of him to clock him but the last thing he wanted to do was land himself back in jail.

The thought of something happening to Aaron terrified him, so he decided he had no choice but to respond to the text.

_ What are you on about? _ Robert typed back and sat back to finish the rest of his beer, and waited impatiently for Marcus to reply.

It took ten seconds for his phone to buzz again. More then a little agitated, Robert grabbed his phone.

_ You really think I was just going to let you walk back in this town and steal what was promised to me? _

Robert sighed. When was their life together ever going to come without complications? No matter how hard they tried, any bit of happiness they seemed to get was impeded by outside forces determined to test them.

He thought about reminding Marcus that he was Aaron’s husband, but decided that would just fall on deaf ears. Marcus clearly wasn’t in his right mind.

Tired of playing games, Robert hit reply.  _ What do you want? _

_ Meet me at the cottage in an hour and you’ll find out. _

* * *

Kinser Cottage had been abandoned for years and was slowly falling apart. Cracks in the brick, the front porch swing covered in moss and other green shrubberies, the blue and white paint had chipped and had mostly peeled off.

Before he could knock, the door creaked open and Marcus stood there, a sinister smile on his face.

Robert didn’t see the knife until it was too late. The jagged edge of the blade felt cold against his skin as Marcus pulled him into the dark living room and shut the door, locked it.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Robert could smell the alcohol on Marcus’ breath.

Marcus held the knife beneath Robert’s neck, his face dark and menacing.

“Nobody takes anything from me,” he said angrily.

“I didn’t take anything from you.” Robert tried to control his temper, but it raged like wildfire. “Aaron is my husband. He was never going to be yours!” Scared for his life, Robert shut his eyes and tried to think how the hell he was going to get out of this alive.

“He was promised to me!” Marcus’ tone got colder and colder with every word. “And now you have to pay for what you’ve done. Prison is going to look like a walk in the park compared to what I’m going to do to you.”

Robert thought he was going to die.

After everything he had gone through, this was how his life was going to end. It wasn’t fair, not after all the obstacles he had overcome to be with Aaron was he going to die like this.

Just as Marcus, cold and ruthless, jabbed the blade into Robert’s neck, there was a loud knock at the door and a scream. "Robert! Robert!" The window shattered and a shadow fell through the opening as Robert cried out in pain.

“Robert!” Aaron screamed again, falling to the floor beside where Robert had fallen after being stabbed.

Before darkness overcame him and he collapsed into unconsciousness, Robert whispered, "I love you Aaron."


	12. Chapter 12

The world went cold and dark as Robert slid in and out of consciousness.

He was still breathing, which relieved Aaron who reacted quickly and took off his jacket and used it to apply pressure to the wound to stop the bleeding.

“Robert! No! You can’t leave me.” Aaron felt his pulse, relieved that it was still strong. The blade had pierced Robert's skin but it hadn't gone deep enough to be fatal.

“What are you doing?” Marcus demanded, the bloody knife still in his hand.

Aaron glared at him, his jaw clenched. “You tried to kill my husband!” He ducked, predicting Marcus' next move, and grabbed Marcus' arm with strength he didn't know he had. “Get away from me!” As they struggled, the knife fell to the floor and they battled to take possession of it.

Aaron was able to grab the knife first and aimed it at Marcus, fury in his eyes. At that moment he knew without a doubt that if he had to he would kill to protect Robert. And he wouldn't feel guilty about it. They had come too far, been through way too much to give up now. He couldn't bear losing him again.

Defeated, Marcus held up his hands. “How the hell did you know we were here?”

“Mike saw you this morning.” Tall, athletic, and looking to make some extra money for college, Mike often helped out with the family business delivering furniture. He had been unloading wooden tables for the shop when he'd seen Marcus walk by, a knife visibly poking out of his jacket pocket. “He came by to give me the invoice for the tables he had delivered this morning and told me he saw you with a knife. He thought you were going to use it to hurt yourself." Filled with anger, Aaron jammed the blade up against Marcus' throat. "Then my mum told me that she had seen you heading this way. I went back to the house to look for Robert and he was gone.” He pressed harder, but purposely didn't graze skin. He wasn't stupid; he wasn't going to be arrested for assault. “He was supposed to meet me there. That’s when it hit me that something was wrong. So here I am." 

Marcus hadn't expected Aaron to show up here now. He had been so damn careful. It wasn't supposed to end like this. “You and me, we could have been so good together. He forced my hand. I had to do something.”

There was a loud knock on the door and Aaron heard his mum yell “Aaron! Aaron! I have the cops with me. Open the door.”

Aaron had called her seconds before he had jumped through the window. He couldn't risk something happening to Robert. Not after everything they had been through to get back together. 

Still gripping the knife tightly, his eyes filled with fury, Aaron walked to the door and flipped the lock.

“Mum, he’s hurt. We need to get him to the hospital,” Aaron cried, his voice shaking. “I managed to stop the bleeding,” he told the paramedics who were already attending to Robert. “Please, you need to get him to the hospital right now.”

Aaron, covered in Robert's blood and his own tears, looked at Chas. "Thank you," he said quietly. As Robert was strapped to a gurney, Aaron fell into her arms and watched as the cops handcuffed Marcus and led him away.

Filled with grief, Aaron dropped the knife in the bag the cop held out.

It was over.

* * *

Robert was going to be okay.

If Aaron hadn’t smashed the window when he had and risked his life, Robert could have died.

The doctor explained Robert’s injuries and treatment to Aaron as he sat, heads in his hands, on the chair beside Robert’s bedside.

He was going to make a full recovery. He would need to stay in the hospital for a few more days. Once he got home, he would need plenty of rest. Thankfully the knife hadn’t sunk deep enough to cause any permanent damage.

Aaron was relieved, but anger consumed him. He would not let it win.

Marcus had been formally charged that morning. Once again, they were facing a court ordeal. But this time they would get to watch someone else be put away.

Chas had come by a few hours earlier with a change of clothes for Aaron and hot coffee. He didn't touch the coffee, his brain already too wired, but he pulled on clean jeans and a black sweater. The clothes he had been wearing when they arrived at the hospital had been stained with Robert's blood.

Aaron had remained by Robert's side, refusing to leave him for even a minute.

Aaron had finally managed to catch some sleep in the chair. He woke up to the feel of Robert’s hand caressing his face.

“Hey,” Aaron yawned, sitting up. “You should be resting.”

“I like watching you sleep.” There was that cocky grin he’d missed so much. “I thought I was going to die. My last thought before I blacked out was that I wasn’t going to get to grow old and wrinkly with you.”

“I felt so hopeless,” Aaron admitted. “I thought I was going to lose you all over again.” Aaron stood up, pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“But you didn’t.” Robert didn’t want to think about it. “I just can’t believe you saved my life. Again.”

Aaron shrugged like it was no big deal. “The one thing he didn’t count on was my instincts where you are considered.”

“Thank God for that,” Robert murmured. “You know, this bed is big enough for two. I really need to feel you close to me.”

Aaron realized they both needed it, so he didn't hesitate to crawl in the bed beside Robert, and pulled him close, being careful not to touch the bandages on his neck.

As they laid together, fingers interlaced, Aaron realized he had never been so scared in his life.


	13. Chapter 13

Hospital food, Robert concluded, was terrible.

He had tried and failed to sweet talk the nurse to sneak him in a slice of pizza from the little pizzeria down the street, but she had said no. Apparently there was some unwritten rule against it that she didn't want to break. 

_ Rules pffft _ , Robert thought with a sigh as he stared at the lukewarm soup and scarce, hard crackers in front of him. He pushed the metal tray away, decided he would rather eat sandpaper, and powered up his laptop. 

The temporary stitches irritated his skin where the blade had sliced his throat. The discomfort was tolerable most of the time thanks to the pain medication the hospital kept pumping into him, but when it wore off, the pain was sudden and sharp, which led to pure physical exhaustion. 

Aaron had been at his bedside fussing over him when he had drifted off and was gone by the time he had woken up. There was a bright yellow sticky note on the small side table by a glass of water Aaron had placed there before he left.

_ Went to the shop to check up on things and get us some decent coffee. Be back soon. PS - you look so sexy when you sleep. _

He grinned as he dealt with emails. The expression on his face changed dramatically when he opened a message from Rebecca. 

He looked at the time she had sent it. 9:35 a.m. Over half an hour ago.

It was short and cryptic.

_ I have to talk to you about Seb. It’s really important, Robert. _

He had just finished hitting send on his reply back to her when Aaron came in the room with a large brown bag that smelled of delicious food in one hand, two large cups in a carrying tray in the other, and a blue duffel bag draped over his shoulder. 

“Is that what I think it is?” Robert could smell cheese, hot and fresh, and pepperoni. How did the man always know what he was thinking before he even said it out loud?

Aaron bent down to smell the untouched bowl of cold soup and crackers that Robert had refused to eat, and winced. “I can’t believe they make people eat that."

“Give me,” Robert demanded.

“Give you what?” Aaron grinned.

“The pizza in that bag. Stop torturing me."

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He moved the bag out of Robert’s reach. “But, let’s say for arguments sake I do have pizza in here. It’s probably your favorite and I know you’re probably starving to death because god knows the food in this place is terrible.” Aaron put the bag down on the chair beside the bed and had the nerve to lean down, tilt his head so their foreheads almost touched, and his breath, warm and seductive, tickled against his neck. “But first you have to give me a kiss.”

It was a small price to pay, Robert thought before they indulged in one kiss, then two.

“Now gimme.” Robert grabbed the bag, inhaled, then dug in.

Aaron pulled clean clothes out of the blue duffel bag. “Doctor says you’re being discharged tonight,” he said as he folded a pair of dark blue jeans and a white sweater and placed them on the bed.

“About damn time. I’m tired of being stuck in this bed.” Robert took one bite, then two, and decided he was in heaven. “The only kind of bed I like being in is one that you’re in with me.” Relaxed despite the machines beeping around him and the IV tube wedged in his hand, he grinned.

Aaron rolled his eyes as he took out socks and underwear, placed them beside the pants and sweater.

Over a mouthful of pizza, Robert told Aaron about the email from Rebecca.

“Do you think something’s wrong?” Worried, Aaron sipped hot coffee from one of the blue paper cups he had brought from the shop. He handed the other one to Robert.

“I don’t know if I’m overreacting, but it sounds like something is up.” Robert finished eating and took a sip of the coffee Aaron offered, and moaned in appreciation of the smoky-sweet flavor. “You make a mean cup of coffee.”

A few minutes later Robert got a notification on his phone that he had a new message. The message that popped up told him he hadn’t just been overreacting.

“What is it?” Aaron asked.

“It’s Rebecca.” Robert paused as he tried to make sense of Rebecca's desperate plea for them to come and get Seb. “She's been admitted to the hospital. They found heroin in her system."

"Are you serious?"

"She blacked out at work and had to be rushed to the hospital. The doctors fear she could be having the start of a possible overdose. I guess she and Ross broke up and he left her. She’s been out there on her own taking care of Seb. She started taking recreational drugs to deal with the pain and I guess..."

“Are you telling me Rebecca is addicted to drugs?” Aaron found that hard to believe, but then again he hadn’t seen or talked to her since she refused to let him see Seb and that was months ago.

Robert looked at him. “She wants to give us full custody of Seb.”


	14. Chapter 14

Robert made the necessary phone calls to get the ball rolling the day after he got out of the hospital. 

First on his list was the doctor who was treating Rebecca to get an update on her condition and to make arrangements for them to see her.

Next, he put a call into George to make sure that their trip to Liverpool wasn't in violation of his release.

"I talked to the Judge's office this morning and they confirmed it's fine. Sounds like you've had an interesting couple of days," George observed.

"You can say that again." If there ever was an understatement, this was it.

"Are you alright? I heard you were attacked."

"Yeah, I'm fine. If it wasn't for Aaron I wouldn't be alive."

"It was pretty obvious the day he was in my office how much he loves you. It sounds like you have managed to work things out." George hesitated. "Have you talked to him about everything that happened while you were inside?"

"A little bit. We got a bit sidetracked when the guy who was infatuated with him tried to kill me," Robert said dryly. "Now we have Rebecca and Seb to worry about."

George remembered the way Robert had talked about him with such pride. Typical dad. "I can just imagine how excited you are to see him after all this time."

"Yeah, so is Aaron. Rebecca wouldn't let Aaron be around him after I went to prison. All because of me, what I did. It wasn't fair to either of them." He couldn't keep dwelling on things he couldn't change, or it would destroy him. Replaying the past over and over in his head and reliving his mistakes wasn't going to help anyone. He had to release the heavy burdens weighing him down and move on, but it was easier said than done.

"Yeah but you're making up for it now. So you go to Liverpool, check on Rebecca and then you get to bring your son home?"

"She's already signed the agreement passing sole custody over to me and Aaron. Obviously he's our number one priority but I'm worried about Rebecca. She could have died."

"If she is addicted to heroin, she needs help. She's lucky to have you both there to help her through it."

"I've already spoken to the doctor there. She's going through withdrawal right now, but they have her on medication. He said if she wasn't brought in when she was she would have died."

"You deserve to be happy, Robert. Enjoy your son, your husband. You've earned it."

* * *

While Aaron packed the essentials upstairs, Robert went out to pick up a few things, including the largest, fuzziest teddy bear he could find at the store for Seb. 

Their suitcases packed and waiting by the front door, Aaron sat in the kitchen with Chas and clutched the cup of coffee she had placed in front of him and munched on a cookie. "You baked. You never bake." But they were delicious, so he swiped another one.

She was fussing over him, but he decided to overlook that because damn it, they were the best thing he'd ever tasted.

"Don't eat them all," she scolded him. "I baked enough for you to take with you. Oh, sweetheart, you look exhausted."

He was. Any sleep he managed to get had been disrupted by the dark, blurry vision of Robert lying on the ground with blood everywhere, the bloody knife beside his lifeless body. But it was just a dream. Robert wasn't dead; he was safe. But that didn't stop the vivid images from entering his subconscious holding him prisoner until he woke up gasping for air. 

"I feel so bad for Rebecca, but at the same time I'm so happy that you get to bring Seb home." 

"Me too. I'm just glad she's okay. It could have been a lot worse." He thought of Robert; what would have happened if he hadn't felt in his gut that something was wrong when he wasn't at home that night. If he had broken through that glass window a few seconds later Robert would have died. He didn't want to think about it, but he was defenseless against the dark direction his thoughts went no matter how hard he tried to push them away.

One crisis after another. Now they were about to go deal with another one. 

If there was one thing about their life, it was never boring, always full of surprises.

* * *

Later that night they pulled into a small cozy inn just outside of Liverpool, a beautifully restored old Victorian with red brick. A plush garden encircled the spacious porch and an abundance of fruit trees brightened up the well-kept grounds. It was remote and quiet, away from the busy roads, the perfect place for them to unwind. Tomorrow would be a busy day visiting Rebecca at the hospital then going to pick up Seb. And deal with all of the paperwork that was waiting for them.

Maybe it was the unexpected complex situation they had suddenly found themselves in or the excitement of seeing Seb, but sleep was the last thing on Robert's mind when they stepped into their room. A bed big enough for three people with sheets the color of the sun topped with a white comforter was in the middle of the room. A small fridge and dresser lined the wall. A clunky old TV was perched on an old wooden desk.

"Do you want----"

Robert cut him off, yanking and tugging at Aaron's jacket and shoving him back against the door as he locked it with his free hand.

Tomorrow was going to be a long day, but tonight alone in this room, it was just the two of them. They could lock themselves away from the world for one night before chaos ensued.

Life was about to get more complicated, which seemed inconceivable after everything they'd already been through. So much had changed since that night Robert had picked up the phone and confessed to Aaron how much he still loved him and there was a chance he was going to be released early.

Where they were now was a far cry away from how things had been six months ago, Robert alone in his cell in tears after saying goodbye to Aaron for the last time, Aaron angry, pushing everyone away. Now they had a chance to start their life over and do it right this time.

Their passion for each other was as overwhelming and powerful now as it had been the first time.

Some things never changed, they only get better with time.

And Seb. He couldn't wait to hold his little boy in his arms again. This time he wouldn't let go.

Life was good.


	15. Chapter 15

The next morning they stopped for breakfast at a quiet little cafe. It was tranquil, the beautiful exposed brick and bright colors of the interior inviting.

Aaron slid into a booth near the back, shrugged out of his leather jacket, and scanned the menu, decided a veggie omelet sounded appetizing enough.

Robert sat across from him, his phone in his ear.

"Yeah, we should be there in about half an hour. We're just grabbing a quick bite to eat. Yeah okay, so everything is in order then? Just have everything ready to sign when we get there." He hung up and put his phone in the pocket of his jacket. "Rebecca's not doing great," he told Aaron with a sigh. 

A waitress, young and hair the color of fire, perched a hip against their table, her pad and pen ready. "What can I get you?"

"Veggie omelet and black coffee for me," Aaron said. 

"Make that two," Robert said. 

She gave them both a warm smile as she grabbed their menus. "I'll be right back." And sauntered away to the next table to wait on an elderly couple who had just sat down.

"What did the doctor say?" Aaron said when they were alone again.

"Her breathing has been erratic so they put her on some new medication to help open up her lung passages. The side effects of this new medication has made her irritable. She's been lashing out at the nurses."

The waitress came back to their table and placed two mugs, white with blue trim, in front of them. "Your food shouldn't be too long," she said.

"Thanks." Aaron lifted the cup to his lips, tasted, decided it wasn't half bad. He thought fleetingly about Sacred Grounds, the business that he had worked his butt off to build. With Marcus now in jail awaiting trial, he was solely responsible for it. And the grand opening was in five days and there was still so much to do.

But his priorities had shifted abruptly when Robert came home.

Life was unpredictable and challenging, and now their life was about to get even more hectic than it already was with an energetic toddler running around. Aaron tried hard to not go back to that dark place of resentment. A year ago they were working towards having a child of their own through surrogacy. Something that never happened because Robert had made one bad decision and landed himself in jail.

Aaron pushed the negative thoughts aside and buried them as deep as he could. Regret weighed heavily on both of them, but they had to let go of it or they would never be able to move forward. This was their second chance, and he didn't want to lose it.

Now he had Rebecca and Seb to worry about. And Robert. He wasn't blind; he knew Robert was dealing with his own inner demons. Being out of prison was a huge adjustment after being isolated for so long.

And the knife attack that had nearly taken Robert away from him again. It had been merciless and unjustifiable. And guilt, the guilt Aaron felt had a stranglehold on his throat. Would he ever be able to forgive himself?

And now Rebecca. And Seb. He had to be their priority. He was only two and a half, and he needed them more than ever. He was at the age where he would be testing boundaries. Throwing tantrums, expressing his anger, frustration, and sadness with actions that he didn't fully understand or could comprehend because he hadn't yet developed the verbal skills to express them.

He had already witnessed his dad go to prison, and been torn away from his other dad, and now his mom had overdosed on drugs. That was too much for a kid at any age to endure and Aaron could only imagine the thoughts that were going through the little boy's head.

Paddy had promised him he would oversee the final preparations until he got back and they could figure out what to do. Aaron was still mulling over Paddy's offer to take over Marcus' investment and become co-owner. Family is the anchor that holds you through life's roughest storms, always there for you no matter what. And Paddy was family. The past didn't matter; Paddy and his mum had stepped up in a big way the last few days, and he was grateful.

* * *

They brought Rebecca flowers, sunny yellow daisies, and pink lilies blended with lush greens to cheer her up. They sweetened it with a raspberry pretzel from the Italian bakery down the road.

The bright colors of the flowers did nothing to brighten her mood, but she appreciated the gesture.

But she did devour the pretzel. 

"Thanks for coming. I didn't know who else to call."

Rebecca didn't look like herself. Her face was thinner, her skin pale. She looked tired and worn down. Unhappy. A drug addict? Robert still couldn't wrap his head around it. It didn't make any sense. But, he reminded himself, he hadn't seen her for months, didn't know anything about her life or what she'd been through in that time. "No matter what happened between us, you are Seb's mum. Whatever you are going through, or whatever you need, we're here for you." 

Rebecca managed a smile, grateful for his support. "I'm glad to see you got out of prison. It wasn't fair what happened to you."

"Well I did hurt Lee, whether he deserved it or not, and I deserved to pay for my crime."

"Maybe, but not with your life. I was unfair to you, Robert. Judgmental. And I took my anger at you out on Aaron." She met Aaron's eyes. "I'm so sorry for taking Seb away from you. It wasn't fair. It hurt him, and it hurt you." 

"It's not important now," Aaron told her. "Besides, one thing I've learned is we are all flawed, we all make mistakes. You did what you did to protect Seb. I'm sorry for lashing out at you the way I did."

"You had every right to," Rebecca told him. "You were going through enough, I shouldn't have added to it."

"It's all under the bridge now." Aaron lightly touched her hand.

"I'm glad you were able to work things out. I wish I could say the same about me and Ross." Rebecca looked down at the IV tube sticking out of her hand, winced. The pain was sudden and sharp.

"Do you need us to get the doctor?" Aaron asked her.

"No, I'm fine. The pain is just temporary. It doesn't last very long."

"What happened with Ross?" Robert asked. "Sorry, you may not want to talk about it, especially with us."

Rebecca waved a hand in the air, hesitated. "He cheated on me. Left me and Seb. Not much else to say."

"I met your lawyer in the hall. He gave me these." Robert held up the custody papers he had signed a few minutes earlier. "Are you sure about this? I'm not trying to take Seb away from you. When you're back on your feet again, you know you can come see him and we can re-evaluate the situation."

"Robert," Rebecca sighed. "I have more than just a heroin addiction. I don't know when I'll be able to take care of Seb on my own again. Today I need you to walk out of here with Seb and take care of him. Promise me."

She didn't even have to ask. Seb was his son, his responsibility. He had already lost so much time with him, he would do whatever he could to take care of him, protect him.

"I promise," he said. "Keep in touch and let us know how you're doing. When you're up for it and feeling more like yourself, we can always bring Seb back for a visit."

"Right now I have to concentrate on fixing myself," she said. "I'll still be in here for a few days at least, until they decide I'm no longer a threat to myself. Then I'll have to start therapy. I'm going to try my best to get better. For Seb. But he's safer with you and Aaron. I know without a doubt that you will raise him in a house full of love. Something I will never be able to offer him."

"You're his mum, and you will always be his mum, no matter what happens. Just please stay in touch and let us know how you're doing, if you need anything."

"I will. Please, just take care of Seb. Take care of each other." She reached into the drawer beside the bed, pulled out a small picture frame that held a photo of her and Seb at his last birthday, cake all over his face, and grinning from ear to ear. "Please take this and show it to him every day. Let him know that his mommy loves him." Her voice was somber as she tried to keep the tears at bay. "I love him so much."

"I know you do," Robert whispered, and took the photo, held it close. "Take care of yourself."

* * *

Aaron had ducked out of the room to give Rebecca and Robert the chance to talk in private. He knew that in all the ways that it mattered he was Seb's dad as much as Robert was, but this was between Robert and Rebecca. They had to make the decision together on what happened to Seb.

When Robert came out of Rebecca's room, he found Aaron asleep in the waiting room. He stared at his husband, the most loving and supportive person he had ever known. They had overcome so many obstacles already. The last six months have been the worst, most excruciating. But they had survived. Robert knew without a doubt that it was because of Aaron. He was his rock, his safe place. The person he loved more than anyone. And had been so close to losing forever. He wouldn't survive losing him again.

From the moment Aaron had slipped the ring back on his finger, Robert knew without a doubt what he wanted to do. They were still legally married but after all the roadblocks, everything they'd endured and survived the past year, it felt right to propose again, re-commit himself to Aaron and their life together.

Maybe when things settled down. As if they ever would, Robert thought. But he wanted to make new promises, ones that this time he intended to keep.

Aaron had stepped into the role of stepfather as if he had done it his whole life. He loved Seb unconditionally like he was his own. His infinite patience and understanding always left Robert in awe. Aaron didn't have to step up the way he had, but he was eternally grateful for it, and it only made Robert love him more. That solidified it for him. He was going to propose...again, and this time it would be for forever.

Aaron wasn't just the best thing that had ever happened to him, but to his son as well. 

He placed a hand on Aaron's shoulder, pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"I love you," Robert said.

Aaron smiled. "I love you too."

Robert grabbed his hand and they walked together to the elevator. "Let's go get our son and take him home."


	16. Chapter 16

Robert's nerves set in as soon as Aaron pulled into the driveway of a white three-story home with wild geraniums planted in the front yard with cherry trees surrounding a massive and inviting porch.

His son was inside waiting for them. He wondered if Seb would even remember him.

Would he remember the thousands of diapers he changed when he was a baby? The countless times he sang off-key on those rough nights when he'd been teething or had a bad dream? All of the happy times they shared as a family? There had been many, he thought now, before their world had crashed to the ground.

Because of me, Robert thought. Because of what I did.

_ Seb probably thinks I just left him, that I didn't care. I not only left Aaron but I left Seb too. I have so much to make up for. _

Or would Seb just remember him being carted off to prison, abandoning him?

Maybe Seb would take one look at him and turn away. Would he be mad, angry, refuse to look at him? That's what he feared the most.

He was harboring too many negative thoughts lately, Robert thought, angry at himself. He couldn't change the past, but he'd be damned if he wouldn't do everything in his power to give Seb a future filled with happy memories.

And that started today.

But first things first. Robert grabbed the big teddy bear in the back seat.

Aaron turned off the ignition and looked at Robert. "You ready?"

"I think so." Robert glanced up at him but didn't move. His feet felt like they were glued to the floor.

Aaron got out and opened the passenger's door. "Are you coming with me or you just going to sit in here all day?"

"What if he doesn't remember me? Or what if he does and he hates me? Aaron, I couldn't stand it if he hates me." 

"We promised each other we would stop dwelling on the past," Aaron reminded him. "Seb is a kid. Kids have a tenancy to forgive easily." Aaron leaned in and tried to calm Robert's nerves with a kiss. "You have been waiting for this moment for a long time. We both have. Seb is going to be so excited to see us." He held out a hand. "We get to bring him home and raise him together. This is a good day. Let yourself enjoy it."

Robert took his outstretched hand and linked their fingers. "Yeah, sorry I guess it's still just really overwhelming. I never imagined I'd ever see the light of day again, let alone be here with you picking up our son. I never thought I'd see him again. Or you."

"Me either," Aaron murmured. He locked the car, and together they walked the short distance up the brick pathway to the front door. 

Before either of them had the chance to knock, a small boy with dark blond hair and freckles came rushing through the door. His face lit up when he recognized Aaron and fell into his arms.

He was, without a doubt, the spitting image of Robert.

"Seb." Aaron clung to him, ruffled his hair. "Look how big you're getting."

Now two and a half, Seb was a bundle of energy. He wore a black and white shirt with "wild child" scrawled across it, grey pants with dump trucks on them, and navy blue shoes with bright orange laces. His hair was curly and cut short. He had a red sucker in his mouth.

"You're here!" Seb didn't want to let go and hugged Aaron tighter. 

"Yes, I'm here and look who I brought with me." Aaron gestured to Robert, who was standing against the railing frozen like a statue.

"Daddy!!" Excitement radiated from Seb. He dropped the sticky candy into Aaron's hand and leaped into Robert's arms without hesitation. There were tears in Robert's eyes as he wrapped his arms around his son.

Seb hadn't forgotten him. That realization made Robert tear up even more.

Seb hadn't seen him for months, he had still been a baby when Robert had been sent to prison. But the way Seb hugged his neck and was rambling on about how excited he was to see him, Robert realized that while a lot of time had passed, Seb didn't let that faze him. They had been separated by time and unfortunate circumstances, but Seb didn't seem to have been affected by it at all. Robert was grateful for that. One of his worst fears had been the damage he had caused to Seb when he went away.

He was just a little boy who had missed his dad. He was so innocent and curious and he made Robert want to smile and laugh at the same time.

Aaron had been right. Looking at Seb, Robert saw no hints of anger or resentment, only love.

A woman with red curly hair walked out of the house, another toddler around the same age as Seb running behind her with a yellow sucker in his mouth. "He's been watching for you," she said to Aaron. "I'm Alice." 

Aaron shook her hand. "You're the one that found Rebecca and called the ambulance. You saved her life."

"We work together. Have for the last couple of months. We both have kids about the same age. They're best friends," Alice said, and watched as her son approached Robert and Seb with curious eyes. "Rebecca and Seb have been staying with us for the past few weeks after she got kicked out of her place. Matthew and Seb have become inseparable."

Aaron watched as Matthew with his blonde curls and blue eyes, showed Robert his toy red truck. "How long has it been since Ross left?" he asked. 

"About a month and a half ago. She was fine at first. Well fine for someone who was cheated on and walked out on. She has lots of friends and her work kept her busy and so did Seb. I thought she was fine, but then I found out about the drinking and the heroin. I tried to get her to stop but she wouldn't." Alice sighed. "Why don't we go inside. I can finish getting Seb's stuff together and I can put on some tea."

* * *

Robert sat on the floor in the living room playing with multi-colored blocks with Seb while Aaron helped Alice pack up the rest of Seb's belongings.

She handed Aaron a white and brown stuffed rabbit and a plastic white and green garbage truck. "He'll want these in the car. They're his favorite. He never goes anywhere without them."

"Thank you. We really appreciate you looking after Seb while Rebecca was in the hospital."

"Happy to do it. As sad as we are that he's going, I know it's what he needs. I know you haven't seen him for a while, but he talks about you all the time. About your husband too."

Aaron wondered if Alice knew what had happened, why they weren't in the picture. "We love him. We always have. We both hated being away from him."

"Rebecca told me about your husband being in jail. She said you had a really hard time." Alice folded pants into Seb's bright blue suitcase.

"I didn't deal with Robert going to prison very well," Aaron admitted. He smiled as he watched Robert and Seb put together a wooden train set. "Robert loves Seb. It tore him apart to be separated from him."

"And you. Rebecca felt bad for keeping Seb from you. She just didn't think you were in the right frame of mind to take care of him."

Aaron shrugged his shoulders in admission. "She was right. I was in a dark place after Robert left. I wish I could go back in time and be a better dad to Seb. All we can do now is make up for it."

"If it helps, Rebecca always said you were an amazing dad." She zipped up the suitcase, put the rabbit and dump truck on top of it. 

"And now we get to be a real family again." Aaron smiled at the sight of Robert and Seb rolling around on the floor booming with laughter as they tickled each other. 

Aaron couldn't remember the last time he heard Robert laugh like that, it was loud and infectious. It was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

"Daddy! Daddy! That tickles!"

Aaron grabbed the suitcase off the table, tucked the rabbit and truck under his arm, and looked at his watch. "We better get going if we want to get home before it's dark."

"Home!" Seb clapped his hands excitedly. 

_ Home _ . The word had ever sounded sweeter.

Robert couldn't wait to get back home. Today was the start of a whole new chapter for the three of them.


	17. Chapter 17

By the time they returned to the village, it was dark. Seb had fallen asleep in his car seat halfway home and was still sleeping soundly when Robert carried him upstairs to his room.

What used to be Seb's nursery had been redecorated at Aaron's insistence.

He's not a baby anymore, Aaron had told him. And Robert couldn't argue with that, so they had redecorated the entire room to give Seb everything a little boy wanted. Toys, books, furniture and plenty of new clothes.

They had painted the walls a slate grey. They had furnished it with a white sturdy wood toddler bed, a light grey dresser, a small white table with yellow and red chairs, and a wood frame fitted with six white bins that they had filled with toys, coloring books and crayons. Two black hanging shelves held books and a few stuffed animals. 

Robert tucked Seb in under a green and white blanket with lions, tigers, and monkeys that Aaron had insisted they buy. He grabbed Benjamin, Seb's favorite stuffy, and tucked him in underneath Seb's arm.

Robert leaned down and kissed him goodnight. "Welcome home," he whispered. "I love you, little man. I promise I will never leave you again. You're safe here."

He switched off the nightlight on his dresser, paused at the doorway, and took in the sight of his son sleeping peacefully. He smiled, then walked back downstairs.

* * *

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

Robert came downstairs to find Aaron pacing the living room, his phone to his ear. And he was livid, curse words flying left and right.

"I don't believe this. How the hell did he...." 

Robert didn't know who Aaron was talking to or what was going on, but knew Aaron was upset. He went into overprotective mode.

"I want a restraining order then," Aaron barked into the phone. "And I want it tonight. Yes, fine. Call me in the morning." He angrily ended the call and threw the phone on the couch.

"Are you alright?" Robert rubbed his shoulders. "Stupid question, of course, you're not alright. You're shaking. Come on, sit down." Holding his hand, he led Aaron to the couch.

Aaron wanted to punch something. "Marcus was released on bail," he said through clenched teeth.

"What?" 

"They fucking let him out of jail. He's on bail until his next court date which isn't for another few weeks." Aaron balled his hands into fists. 

"Why the hell would the court let him out on bail?" 

"Because they're stupid?" Aaron scowled. "That was my lawyer. I told him he needs to get a restraining order against Marcus ASAP. Especially with Seb home with us now, we need to be cautious."

"It's going to be okay," Robert assured him. "I know this is not what we expected to happen, but he's not going to hurt us. I won't let him." He rubbed Aaron's arm. "We just had a great day with Seb, who is now sleeping soundly in his room. He's home with us. Let's just concentrate on that. Our family here together."

"I won't let him hurt you again."

"He won't," Robert promised him. "He won't hurt us. He's not going to come near us. We'll get a restraining order and he won't be able to. Besides, we have family around to make sure he doesn't. Everyone knows what he did. We’ll be protected."

"He's refusing to sell his share in the shop. We open in a couple of days. I have to be there for the grand opening. You know what that means right? He's still part owner. Even a restraining order won’t keep him away."

"We'll figure it out. It's still a few days away. Look it's late." Robert stood up, kept Aaron's hand in his. "We can deal with this in the morning. We're both exhausted. We're together now. We'll deal with it. Together."

Aaron only nodded, and let Robert lead him up the stairs and into their bedroom.

Robert shut the door and pulled Aaron into his arms. "Just look at me, okay? Let's just concentrate on each other right now, yeah? We can worry about everything else tomorrow." He drew Aaron closer, his fingers trailed up to unbutton his shirt, pushed it off his shoulders and let it fall to the floor.

They slid down together onto cool white sheets and hastily removed the last barrier of clothes between them.

"I love you," Aaron whispered.

Robert smiled, leaned back to admire his husband. "I love you too. I didn't think I could love you more then I did before, but being back here with you...I feel like I've just fallen more in love with you." He skimmed his fingers up and down Aaron's body, stopping to lightly caress the titanium band that symbolized their love on Aaron’s finger.

He had planned to propose tonight, but the timing just wasn't right. It might never be a perfect time, but tonight definitely wasn’t.

It could wait. They had a lifetime together.

He had a plan he just wasn’t sure when would be a good time to execute it.

* * *

The next morning, Robert made pancakes. Seb’s favorite with large ripe blueberries drenched in syrup.

Robert was enjoying his time alone with Seb. They had already played in his room, which Seb told him was the coolest room he’d ever seen, and colored pictures of dinosaurs and monsters. Seb had gotten bored with that quickly so they sat on the floor and played with his toy trucks. They ended up chasing others around the room until they both got dizzy.

Seb grabbed his bunny from his bed and announced that both he and Benjamin were starving.

Downstairs Robert made breakfast while Seb sat at the table telling him all about his friend Matthew and all the fun things they did together.

They needed this time together just the two of them, Robert thought, but that didn’t stop him from worrying about Aaron.

Aaron had already been gone when Robert had woken up. The note he had left on the bedside table told him he was meeting his lawyer at the police station.

The nightmares haunted him, kept him awake most of the night. Razor-sharp images that he tried to escape but couldn't. 

He wasn’t in that cold jail cell anymore, he reminded himself. He wasn’t alone. He had Aaron. And he had Seb. He had his family back.

He wasn’t lying in a pool of blood on the cold floor in that abandoned cottage after having his throat sliced. Aaron had saved him.

He had already made an appointment with a therapist. It was part of the conditions of his release, along with the community service which he would be starting tomorrow, but he knew for his own sanity he needed to talk about his time in prison, all the bad memories that were consuming him, threatening his future. He had a life outside prison walls that he loved and knew for him to enjoy that life he needed to deal with his demons.

Robert was wiping blueberries off Seb’s face when Chas came through the front door. She put down the mountain of shopping bags she had carried inside when she saw Seb.

“Seb.” She approached him slowly, not wanting to frighten him.

“Grandma?” Seb eyed her curiously, and the bags she had just put down. “Are those presents for me?”

“You remember me?” Chas knelt in front of him, took his hands in hers. “I’ve missed you so much, did you know that?”

“My daddies said they missed me too,” Seb told her.

Chas smiled at Robert. “Yes, I know they did. We’ve all missed you. We are all so glad you’re back here where you belong.”

Seb looked over at Robert who was at the sink washing dishes. “Can I show Grandma my room?”

Robert nodded. “Of course you can.”

“Where’s Aaron?” Chas asked Robert.

Robert didn’t want to say anything in front of Seb and didn’t want to worry Chas if he didn’t have to so he tried to be as vague as he could. “He’s out running a few errands. He should be back soon."

“Everything okay with you two?”

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed him, our life here. I think we’re closer now than we’ve ever been.” Robert wiped his hands on a towel, looked back at Chas. “I want to ask him to marry me.”

“You’re already married.”

“I know legally we’re still married, but after everything we’ve been through this past year, I want us to renew our vows. I even bought him a new ring.” Robert took a black box from his pocket, opened it to reveal a two-toned titanium band with a black titanium center bordered top to bottom with white titanium.

Chas beamed. “Oh Robert, it’s beautiful. He’ll love it. When are you going to give it to him?”

Before Robert could answer, Seb pulled on Chas’ hand. “Grandma,” he whined. “I want to show you my room.”

Chas laughed and followed Seb upstairs.

Robert looked at the ring one more time before putting the box pack in his pocket. He didn’t know when he would get to give it to Aaron, he just knew he wanted it to be special.

Right now, they had too much going on. They were already husbands; a big elaborate rushed proposal wouldn’t change that.

They could easily escape for the day and take a trip to their old lay by. It was the perfect spot; where he had kissed Aaron for the first time. He had been so confused about his feelings back then, but had taken a risk that day. He hadn't understood the pull towards Aaron, but he knew it was there. It had been a confusing time; he had denied and denied that part of himself for so long. But the pull only got stronger and he could no longer deny that what had started out as an affair had turned into something much more.

It had turned into love.

And then four years later they ended up at the same exact spot when they had both secretly planned to propose to the other.

It was the one place he let his mind escape to when things got rough in prison and he couldn't sleep. It made him feel safe. Even though they were miles apart, Robert felt close to Aaron when he thought about the two of them on that old road.

Life behind bars had been so hard, harder then he could ever explain to anyone. It had almost destroyed him. He had made it out alive, mostly intact, but there were parts of him that were missing from the man he had been before going to prison.

He needed to get those pieces back. 

He was starting to slowly. Being back with Aaron in their home, and now with Seb living with them, he almost felt complete.


	18. Chapter 18

The small private room they had been led into smelled of stale coffee and sweat, the dark walls were confining like a prison. He sat quietly in a dark grey metal chair that was hard and uncomfortable and listened with annoyance to the cop who sat across from him, a metal table separating them.

Inside he was screaming.

The cop explained with ease of experience the reasons behind the decision to temporarily release Marcus from custody.

How could they justify that decision? It was wrong. And nothing could lessen the blow that he had been dealt the night before when he had been given the news.

Rick was a veteran cop so he was able to take the angry stares in stride. "Like I told you over the phone," Rick said to Tom, Aaron's lawyer, "even though Mr. Lafoy has been released on bail, he is not permitted to be within three hundred feet of your client or any of his family."

That didn't make it any easier to swallow knowing that the man responsible for almost killing Robert was out roaming the streets, temporarily or not.

A lump formed in Aaron's throat as he listened, his frustration mounting. He didn't want to cause a scene and make things worse, but he was teetering on the edge of losing his composure and lashing out. But he held it in.

Tom made a few notes on his legal pad. "Why was he even granted bail? That's what my client and I don't understand. And no offense, but you do realize Mr. Lafoy committed a serious crime against my client's husband right? It's not like we're talking about a small misdemeanor here. He didn't burglarize their home or commit fraud. He's charged with attempted murder and assault causing bodily harm. Mr. Sugden could have died from his injuries if my client hadn't broken in and taken the knife away from Mr. Lafoy."

"I understand you and your client are upset." Rick understood and even empathized with their frustration. He had years of experience dealing with sensitive matters like these and prided himself on handling them in a calming and empathetic manner. "The judge made her ruling based on the evidence presented at the pre-trial hearing. She didn't make the decision based solely on the crimes committed by Mr. Lafoy. Mr. Lafoy has made a full confession to his crimes. The judge took that into consideration as well as other factors. The decision wasn't made lightly rest assured."

"You can't be serious." His anger threatening to boil over, Aaron stood up, angrily shoved the chair. He stuffed his hands in the pocket of his jacket to keep him from balling them into fists. "The asshole confessed to almost killing my husband and the judge still granted bail. Tell me how the hell that makes any fucking sense, because it sure as hell doesn't to me!"

"While Mr. Lafoy has confessed, the judge doesn't feel that he's a flight risk. He has business he needs to tie up before his trial. I understand you co-own a coffee shop with him." Rick looked down at the file in front of him, at notes he had scrawled on various pages. "I understand he has agreed to meet with some investors to sell off the investments he has in his remaining business ventures. Yours included."

"They told me he was refusing to sell his shares in the coffee shop. Are you telling me he's changed his mind?"

"One of the conditions he agreed to as part of his bail is that he transfers all his stake in your business. He is not only not permitted to be in your vicinity, but he's not allowed to set foot at your place of business."

That eased the tension is Aaron's shoulders a bit. But he still hated the idea of Marcus being out on bail, roaming around Emmerdale.

"Mr. Dingle, we have received this from Mr. Lafoy's lawyer." Rick handed a sheet of paper to Tom for him to review. "Whereby Mr. Lafoy agrees to transfer one hundred percent of his shares to your husband in exchange for a lighter sentence."

Aaron's eyed widened in shock. "He's trying to bargain for a lighter sentence. How light is light?"

"Twelve years instead of twenty," Rick told him. 

Tom read through the document carefully then looked at Aaron. "Do you think Robert would go for this?"

"I'm going to find out." Aaron reached into his pocket for his phone. "Rob, it's me. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm at the station now. Marcus' lawyer is trying to negotiate a plea deal. In exchange for a lighter sentence, he will transfer his interest in the shop to you. Twelve instead of twenty. Me? Honestly, I just want him locked up and out of our lives. The business aspect has been worrying me a bit and this would solve that. You have a lot going on I know, and now with Seb back with us our lives are already hectic but I think we could make it work. We hire more staff to ease the workload while we deal with everything else. Yeah, I don't want to deal with a trial either if we can avoid it. I don't want you going through all of that again. If we agree to this, he goes straight to prison and we move on with our lives. I'll take care of it and I'll see you soon. I love you too." 

"Should I contact Mr. Lafoy's lawyer?" Rick asked.

"We want to avoid a trial," Aaron said, sitting back down. "Robert has been through enough this past year. I don't want to put him through another court ordeal."

Rick nodded. "As I mentioned, Mr. Lafoy has already confessed. Once the paperwork is all signed and filed, he would immediately be sent to prison to begin serving his time."

Aaron whispered something to Tom.

"My clients want to avoid any further dealings with Mr. Lafoy and just want to ensure he is put away. Do what you have to do to get this ball rolling."

* * *

After a brief meeting with his lawyer after they left the police station, Aaron drove to the coffee shop to check on the final preparations.

Even though he felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders, the guilt he felt was merciless and unforgiving. How had he let this happen? 

Marcus had seemed so down to earth, so normal. Maybe he had been so blinded by his grief over losing Robert that he missed the obvious signs of the crazy that lurked behind his green eyes.

Thank God Robert had survived the attack, but he would never forgive himself for allowing it to happen.

_ You had no way of knowing. This isn't your fault. _

Robert was right, but he had so many regrets. He should have been able to prevent it, and the fact that he hadn't been able to continue to haunt him.

When Aaron walked in, Paddy was wiping down the counter at the front of the shop.

"Coffee?" Paddy asked him.

Aaron nodded and looked around the room. "It looks really great in here. Paddy, I don't know how to thank you for everything you've done. If it wasn't for you and mum we would be nowhere close to being ready to open." 

Paddy handed a cup to Aaron, sat on the stool next to him. "You don't need to thank me, I'm just glad I could help. You've had a lot on your plate lately."

And he wasn't sure when, if ever, things would slow down. His life was a chaotic mess.

"Your mum said she saw Seb this morning. He was helping Rob make pancakes."

Aaron had wondered how long his mum would wait before she rushed over to see Seb. "You never would have known that it's been months since he last saw us by looking at him. The way he just jumped into Robert's arms like no time had passed at all."

"Kids are like that. And they forgive easily."

"Robert has been feeling so guilty. I think Seb's reaction to him has helped ease some of it."

"Guilt is a hard thing to overcome, but he'll get there. It just takes time."

"It still feels unreal you know. Having him back." He looked down at his ring. "I feel like even if someday I had found a way to move on, given my heart to someone else, it never would have been worked. A part of me would always look at that person and see him there like a shadow. Nothing would ever come close. It's hard not to think about what if he hadn't been released. I know without a doubt I would never have walked away from him. That's how much I love him."

Paddy wore his guilt like shackles, it was painfully tight. "I know how much you love Robert. How much you have always loved him. I've interred more than once," Paddy reminded him. "And he could have died this time and it would have been my fault. I wish I could take it all back."

Aaron had already forgiven him, but he was touched by the gesture. "Paddy, it's not important now. You had no way of knowing how dangerous Marcus was. I didn't know either. He seemed like such a nice guy. Who knew behind those eyes was a vindictive jealous person like that."

"I still shouldn't have interred with your love life. You were still grieving Robert and I pushed and I pushed. I know you forgive me, but I'm not sure I forgive myself." He looked around. "We need to find a way to convince Marcus to sell his ownership of this place. I hope he does the right thing and doesn't show his face around here."

"Actually, I just came from the police station. Marcus' lawyers have been negotiating with the prosecution. A reduced sentence in exchange for transferring his interests in this place to Robert."

"And you would avoid a trial. I know a trial is the last thing you and Robert want to go through again."

Aaron shook his head. "No, we don't. I don't think either of us could go through it." He paused, sipped his coffee. "We've agreed to the deal."

Paddy put an arm around his shoulders. "I'm happy for you, mate. And with Seb back with you where he belongs you can finally move forward with your life and be happy like you deserve."

"There's something I was hoping you could help me with." Aaron reached into his pocket, pulled out a red box.

"Name it."

A shiny metal ring with a black titanium outer band and an inner steel grey band sparkled up at him. It was simple but elegant. "Is that what I think it is?" 

"I'm going to ask Robert to marry me. You know, again." He laughed then sighed, shut the box. "Do you think it's stupid? I mean we're already married. It is stupid, isn't it? I don't know what I was thinking."

"Of course it's not stupid. This is a brand new start for the two of you. This seems like the perfect way to start off your new life together. And think of how much Seb will love it. I doubt he remembers your last wedding."

"Yeah." Aaron smiled. "I just have to figure out when I'm going to ask him and how." But he knew the perfect place to do it.


	19. Chapter 19

The nightmare was over.

The phone call from his lawyer confirmed it. The paperwork had been filed and Marcus had been sentenced and immediately taken to prison, his location unknown.

Aaron knew the ordeal was over, but it was impossible to erase that fateful night from his memory.

The chilling gruesome image of all that blood pooled around Robert as he laid on the ground motionless still haunted him. He wasn’t sure if the horror of that night would ever disappear completely.

While the mitigated sentence didn’t sit well with either of them, the punishment however small was justice.

It was a relief knowing they could walk around the village without worrying about Marcus lurking around every corner. And Seb needed a safe and happy home to grow up in, and now they could give that to him.

They were going to cherish and treasure every special moment they had as a family. They had lost so much time already.

Family.

A family just wasn’t imaginable without Robert. He could never explain it, not even to himself, but he had never wanted anyone else. His heart belonged to one person only, even when they had been separated by the miles Robert had put between them when he had walked away from their marriage. He had done it out of love and he knew that now.

He remembered that day vividly like it had been yesterday. Robert had looked tired and worn-out.

He had been hurt when Robert had taken his ring off and slid it across the table. He had slipped the ring onto his own finger, but it didn't feel right. It didn't belong on his finger; it had belonged on Robert's.

He had to watch Robert walk away from him after he had hugged him and told him he loved him and always would. The heartbreak in his voice and the tears in his eyes as he said goodbye had been heart-wrenching. He knew Robert better then anyone; if he hadn't been so consumed by his own grief he would have seen what Robert was planning.

He was ending their marriage.

He remembered he had been soaked head to toe after he returned home because It had been rainy and muggy. It had matched his mood. A part of him died that day.

He had been hurt, sad, angry, mad. He didn't talk to anyone for days. Refused to pick up the phone or go to work. He just wanted to be left alone to try and come to terms with losing his husband.

He felt betrayed by the one person that had promised to love him for the rest of his life.

Those words had meant nothing in the end. 

He had tried to close that chapter of his life and turn the page, had even tried to be happy but his heart wouldn’t let him. He knew he couldn’t stay stuck in the past, but the closer he got to craving human interaction and considered moving on with his life without Robert, he would backpedal and he just ended up feeling more isolated and alone.

He hadn’t wanted or needed another man. Companionship maybe, but a serious relationship was out of the question and would just end badly. A part of his heart would always be untouchable and out of reach. 

He had gone to bars, gotten himself so drunk to numb the pain. Some nights he had convinced himself sex with a random stranger would make him feel better, that it would somehow heal his broken heart. 

But nothing did. All he had been left with was emptiness and shame.

He had only wanted Robert, and for months he hated Robert for that. For what he had made him become.

Totally and completely lost. A brokenhearted mess of a man who couldn’t even sleep in their bed without falling apart.

But he wasn't that man anymore. His heart wasn't shattered, it had become whole again the moment Robert had walked back into his life.

He was never going to let him go again.

* * *

The crisp three-piece black suit was too much, Aaron thought as he tightened his tie, looked in the mirror. He had trimmed his beard and spiked his hair. He felt ridiculous. 

You're overdoing it, he told himself.

He rolled his eyes when Chas whistled at him when she walked in on him pacing the back of the pub.

"Where are you going so dressed up?" she asked him.

Aaron felt the ring box in the pocket of his pants, shifted nervously. "Robert and I are just going out for dinner."

"Just out for dinner? That's a little bit fancy for just dinner don't you think? Oh my god." Chas covered her mouth. "Something big is happening, isn't it?" She knew Robert was planning to propose and wondered if it was happening tonight.

Aaron couldn't hide his nerves, not from his mum. "Actually, it's more than that. After dinner, there will be a little detour." He pulled the box out of his pocket.

Chas stared at the wedding band nestled on black velvet foam, looked back up at her son. "For Robert?" 

Aaron shut the box, shoved it back in his pocket. "Yeah. I had it engraved with the date of our last wedding and the date he got released from prison." He ran a hand through his hair. "We're still married but ever since he got back I had this idea in my head of asking him to marry me again. After everything that's happened, it just feels right."

"It is. Oh honey it is." She wrapped her arms around him. "It's beautiful."

"I have to go pick him up from the house. Vic is over there now, she offered to watch Seb."

"So he just thinks you're going out for dinner. He has no idea." 

They're going to propose at the same time, she thought. Just like the last time.

It was so Aaron and Robert.

"No, he has no idea. I just love him so much."

Chas smiled. "And he loves you. I want to hear all about it tomorrow. Breakfast at the pub, 10:30," she told him. 

Aaron knew there was no point in trying to sway her. "Fine, but don't go all crazy. No big surprise engagement party like the last time."

He felt a sense of calmness as he walked out to his car and made the short drive back to the Mill.

They had their fair share of ups and downs, had survived thunderous storms, but in the end, they always found their way back to each other.

Without pause, without a doubt, he would choose Robert over and over again. 

No one else came close. And no one ever would.

And tonight he would ask Robert to be his husband again on the old dirt road where they had shared so many firsts. Their first kiss, their first joint proposal.

This time it would be forever.

It was going to be perfect. 


	20. Chapter 20

Robert went for a jog to clear his head and calm his already frayed nerves. He had big plans for tonight and he didn't want to screw it up. It had to be perfect.

The park was empty when he stopped to rest. Breathing heavily, he sat on a wooden bench that was still damp from the rain that had poured down the night before and thought about all the events that had led him here.

Isolated in prison, Robert had spent a lot of time looking back on his life, all of his mistakes, and what had made him happy before he had messed everything up.

He reflected on the man he had been and the man he wanted to be. Prison had been a hidden blessing. It had made him realize he needed to change.

He regretted sacrificing his own happiness for revenge. His heart ached for the life he had given up, spent months mourning the future that was no longer within reach with the man he loved. He had lost everything in the blink of an eye.

The shame, remorse and grief had been too much. And when he made the difficult decision to file for divorce, he broke down, isolated himself even more. He couldn't stand the pain.

Aaron deserved better. Everyone was better off without him, he told himself. He cut off all contact with his friends and family, and had briefly thought about ending his own life. 

He started to write to deal with the pain. He had written pages and pages of letters to Aaron, then ripped them up and threw them away. Then he tried again. The writing was cathartic; he had to reach the brink to finally realize what had been in front of him all of this time.

He loved Aaron and didn't want to lose him. 

He knew Aaron probably hated him and had probably moved on by now, found someone new that wasn't a fuck up like he was.

But he had to try. 

He had learned life was too short not to live it to the fullest. Love was too rare not to grab it when you were lucky enough to find it.

And he had been lucky enough to find that rare type of love and had lost it.

His unhealthy obsession for vengeance against the man who had hurt his sister had cost him everything. Lee was a predator; he had raped her, violently and cruelly and denied it and denied it, and broke her down. Then she had discovered she was pregnant and that had pushed Robert over the edge. He had to do something to avenge what Lee had done to her.

He had failed to protect her like a big brother was supposed to. He should have been there for her, supported her through the most horrific ordeal of her life. But instead, he became obsessed with making Lee pay for what he had done to her. He lost sight of everything else that had mattered. Aaron, their plans for a future, a baby. He'd thrown all of that away because he couldn't see past his blind need for revenge.

The last six months had been the darkest of his life. Would he ever be able to fully break free of the heavy, invisible chains that were constantly around his wrists? He needed them to break and shatter.

One fatal choice had sealed his fate, destroyed his life.

And Aaron's. 

His life behind bars had been short compared to the fourteen years he had been sentenced to, but what he experienced on the inside changed him. He had struggled as he tried to adjust to his new normal. Every day presented a new challenge. He had learned to just accept this was how his life was going to be. He forced himself to stop thinking about Aaron, what he was doing, who he was with. Had he found love again? Did he hate him for destroying everything? They had planned a future together, and in one poignant moment, he had stolen it away from both of them. 

The worst had been the last time Aaron had visited him. He knew that morning what he had to do. It killed him, but he had to protect Aaron. He had promised him the best life and now he could no longer offer that to him.

So he had to let him go.

It was the hardest thing he had ever done in his life. And he regretted it every day. He had foolishly thought it was best for both of them, had almost convinced himself that making Aaron hate him was the only way Aaron would accept that things were over and he could fall in love again, this time with someone that wasn't such a train wreck.

But that thought had almost killed him. It was selfish, but he didn't want Aaron with anyone else.

Despite how much he loved him, he never contacted Aaron again, sending divorce papers through his lawyer because he had managed to convince himself that Aaron was better off without him. 

When his lawyer told him Aaron hadn't returned the divorce papers, he held onto a small glimpse of hope that it wasn't over. That they weren't over. That he still had a chance to make things right.

That's when he made the decision to write to him again, and mail them this time. He needed to tell Aaron he had only walked away from their marriage because he wanted him to be happy. But eventually, he had realized that he couldn't tell Aaron how to live his life. They were married, partners; they should have made the decision together to either get through this ordeal side by side or cut the ties and go their separate ways.

He had taken the choice away from Aaron, and he regretted that more than anything else.

If the situation had been reversed, Robert knew what he would have done. He would have chosen Aaron over anything else. And he knew deep down that Aaron would have done the same, but instead of fighting for him he had walked away and hurt the person he loved more than anything.

He would never question Aaron's commitment again. He had proved his love time and again.

Now it was time for him to prove his.

* * *

Seb looked up from playing with his trains when his dad walked into his room, trying on yet another tie. This was number ten.

"Dad won't care what tie you wear," Seb told him.

Robert tightened the dark blue tie and looked at Seb. "Thanks," he said dryly.

"I like that one best," Seb said. "And dad likes blue."

"You're right he does. Okay," Robert agreed. He pulled on the navy blue suit jacket that was draped over Seb's bed. 

"You look nice," Seb told him.

Robert smiled. "Thanks for helping me pick out the tie. I couldn't have done it on my own."

He sprayed on expensive cologne, ran a comb through his wavy blond hair, and went downstairs.

Victoria whistled from the kitchen where she was feeding Harry. "Looking good Rob. Where are you taking Aaron so dressed up?"

He thought about going back upstairs and changing into something more casual, something that wouldn't make Aaron question why he was dressed up like he was going to a business meeting or a wedding.

"It's a secret." He put on his watch, tightened it. "Now are you sure you're going to be okay here on your own with Harry and Seb?"

Victoria rolled her eyes. "Yes, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of them on my own."

"Sorry, I'm just..." Nervous, he thought. He was as nervous as he had been the first time he had kissed Aaron. It was silly and he felt foolish.

"Why do you look so nervous?" 

Robert took the ring box out of the pocket of his jacket, opened it. When Victoria gasped, his nerves slowed.

"It's beautiful," she told him. "Really beautiful. You're going to propose to him again. That's what tonight is all about. Why you're looking so dashing tonight."

"I was planning to." His hands were unsteady as he closed the box. "Do you think it's too soon? I mean we've barely been back together a week and I....."

"You're already married," she reminded him. "It's not like this is your guys' first time. After all the time you spent apart, I can't imagine a better way to start off your new life together." Victoria smiled when she saw Seb coming down the stairs. "Look at what you guys have now. Just an outsider's point of view, but I think you both are more in love now than you ever have been. Embrace it, celebrate it." She put Harry down on the ground so he could crawl around. She wrapped her arms around Robert and hugged him. "Ask him to marry you."

Seb, dragging Benjamin and his favorite blanket behind him, had on his favorite dinosaur pj's and curled up onto the couch, was oblivious to the conversation going on around him. "Are we going to watch the dinosaur movie?"

Victoria sat beside Seb, ruffled his hair. "I promised you we would, didn't I?" She tickled him, causing Seb to screech out in laughter.

"Is dad taking you on a date?" Seb asked.

"No, it's more like I'm taking him out on a date." Robert grabbed his wallet and keys from the table, leaned over, and kissed Seb on the forehead. "You be good for your Auntie Vic okay? Don't give her any trouble."

"Trouble is my middle name," Seb told him. "That's what my mom used to say."

Robert froze. Rebecca was still a touchy subject around Seb. He was so innocent, he had no idea what was going on, how sick she was, and that she may never get better. Not knowing the best way to respond, he cleared his throat. "Your mom might have been right about that. You're cute so you get away with. Just like me." He grinned.

"That's what daddy Aaron says."

"Well, Daddy Aaron is very smart. He picked me, didn't he?"

And I picked him, he thought. Today and every day.


	21. Chapter 21

Robert found him waiting at the end of the driveway leaning against the car, his smile infuriatingly sexy.

Robert cleared his throat, trying not to stare at the way the black suit hugged his husband's body perfectly. He took a step forward and kissed him, felt the warmth of his lips despite the cold, and deepened the kiss.

Robert reluctantly pulled away from the embrace. "Let's get out of here before we maul each other right here in the driveway." Robert unlocked the car, cocked his head and grinned. "We can save the mauling for later."

When Robert missed the turn for the restaurant, Aaron eyed him suspiciously. "Where are you going? This isn't the way to the restaurant. We're not going for dinner are we?" And at that moment Aaron realized his plan to deliberately get Robert tipsy enough at dinner that he would have to drive them home and casually stop by their old lay by had just blown up in smoke.

Robert just smiled and kept driving. 

The road was deserted, still slick with moisture from the misty rain earlier in the day. When they pulled over, the sun had set, colors of red and orange filled the sky.

"I delayed our dinner reservation for a bit. I thought we could use some time alone, just the two of us. This seemed like the perfect spot." He shut off the ignition, stepped out of the car. "Want to take a walk?"

"Here?"

Robert took his hand as they walked a short distance down the unpaved road. "I would lie awake some nights and just imagine being back here. Where it all started." Robert looked around the familiar roadway. Not much had changed except for a few full-grown trees that hadn't been there before.

Aaron stopped walking and cupped Robert's face in his hands. "It was always you after that day. I didn't care that you were engaged. That first kiss changed everything. But to be honest I hated the feeling of being your dirty little secret."

"I'm sorry. I know I hurt you. I couldn't face my feelings for you. They were so strong it scared the hell out of me. All I knew was I wanted you more than anything."

"I wouldn't change how our story started, no matter how messed up it was at times. It's where we are now that matters."

"But still, I shouldn't...."

"No regrets," Aaron whispered, pulling him closer. "Fate brought us together, pushed us apart, but we found our way back."

"This time I'm not letting you go." As the sun dipped below the horizon, the fleeting colors of dusk began to fade away. The tangerine glow of the sunset behind them made this moment even more special. "I've made a lot of mistakes, but the worst one was letting you believe I didn't love you anymore when I sent those divorce papers. I had convinced myself that letting you go was the right thing to do, but in my heart, I knew that it wasn't. I should have asked you what you wanted, but instead, I did what I always do, I didn’t think it through. I thought you were better off without me."

"But I'm not. Never would have been."

"You never gave up on me even when I gave you every reason you should. I love you so much for that." Robert took a deep breath, tried to calm his nerves as he reached for the ring box in his pocket. "You mean everything to me, you know? The last six months were excruciating without you. But right now, here with you, makes up for all of that."

"I would choose you every time. I would go through hell and back again for you. Even those months I tried so hard to hate you." Aaron felt the ring box burning a hole in his pocket. There wasn't going to be a better time. They were in  _ their _ spot and the moment felt so right. "All the bad stuff led us to this moment."

"Let's go back to the car." Robert turned to walk back the direction they came when Aaron put a hand on his arm.

"Wait."

"What is it? Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong. In fact, I think this is the happiest I've felt in a long time." The emptiness he felt all those months had been a burden too heavy to carry. Robert changed everything again when he had walked back into his life. The burden had been lifted instantly.

_ Let go of the illusion that it could have been different. _

How many times did he repeat those words to himself hoping he could? The void in his heart had been like a scar that left him battered and vulnerable.

Robert never thought he would ever feel this happy again. This content. He didn't need the things in life he used to think were important like money and fancy cars. He was no longer that man. All he needed, all he wanted, was what was in front of him. "I never thought I would feel this way again. Free. Happy. Loved. It's because of you. I wouldn't trade being here with you for anything."

"I wouldn't either. No matter how tough things got, I never would have walked away from what we had. Nobody ever understood it. Sometimes I didn't understand it either. I just knew in my heart you were the only one that I ever wanted."

Robert smiled, opened up the ring box in his hand.

At the same time, Aaron pulled the ring box out of his pocket.

It was deja vu all over again.

"Am I dreaming or is this really happening again?" The fleeting moment of surprise was instantly forgotten as Aaron looked down at the ring Robert was holding.

"Do you know I spent the last two days driving myself crazy wondering if asking you to marry me again was a crazy idea."

"I thought maybe it was too soon to ask," Aaron admitted. "You've only been out barely a week. I didn't want to pressure you."

Robert shook his head. "To be honest, even if I was still locked up and you asked me to marry you, I would have."

Touched, Aaron squeezed his hand. "I would have stayed with you, you know. Even if your appeal was denied and you had to stay in there. I would have traveled a thousand miles to see you if I had to."

"From the minute I saw you again, I knew I wanted to do this." Robert got down on one knee. "No matter how long we were apart, how tough things got, I never stopped loving you. I always wanted a future with you, a family. I know I almost wrecked everything, but I want to make it all up to you. Let me make it up to you." He took a deep breath. "Will you be my husband again?"

"I was just thinking about everything that's happened since you went to prison. It changed me. I realized that no matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop loving you. I don't want anybody else. It will never be easy for us, but I don't care. I love you and I want us to have that future we talked about. I want you."

"Is that a yes?"

Aaron knelt down on one knee in front of him so they were face to face. "Yes. But before you put that on my finger, you need to hear my proposal. It's only fair."

Robert smiled, felt the soft breeze against his neck. "You won't hear any complaints from me. But you better make it fast. I really want to get this ring on your finger."

"I know this past year has been rough for both of us. It was hard for me living without you, but I can't imagine what it was like for you. But I want you to know you're not alone anymore. I love you. I love you in your weakest moments and in your strongest ones. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. There's nothing you could ever do to make me want to. We're not perfect, far from it, but I know we're perfect for each other. I wouldn't change anything we've gone through, and we've been through a lot, but it led us here." Aaron took a deep breath. "You've always had my heart. I just want to forget this last year has happened. I want to make new promises to you, starting here tonight when I ask you to be my husband again."

Robert stood up, grabbed Aaron's hand pulling him up. "I would marry you a thousand more times if I could," he murmured, and pulled Aaron closer, bruising his lips in a possessive kiss. 

With a calm and colorful sunset behind them, Robert took Aaron's hand, slid the ring on his finger. "I love you so much."

Aaron took the ring out of the box he held, looked intensely into Robert's eyes, slipped the ring on his finger effortlessly. "I love you too." 

Robert grabbed the back of his neck and fixed his mouth on Aaron's. "Thank you," he murmured. "For everything, but most of all for being you. You're amazing."

The lay by had been the backdrop for many of their firsts together, but nothing compared to this moment.

As they walked back the car, Aaron grabbed Robert, shoved him against the passenger side door, and crushed their lips together. 

They could never get enough of each other.

"Let's forget dinner," Aaron breathed against his neck. "I have a much better idea."


	22. Chapter 22

They pulled into an inn on the outskirts of town. It was quiet and remote, just what they needed.

Robert had just turned off the ignition and went to unbuckle his seat belt when Aaron shifted towards him and pulled him in for a kiss. Then hands were in his hair and he had to pull back before he lost control completely before they even got inside their room.

Aaron's eyes were intense, filled with desire. "Sorry," he murmured. "I lost control there for a minute."

"Don't be sorry." Robert locked the car, pocketed the keys. "I just want to get you inside so I can get you out of that suit." 

"It's a nice suit," Aaron argued.

"Yes, it's a very nice suit but I prefer you out of it." Robert's phone buzzed as they started to walk up the brick pathway surrounded by a shelter of trees up to a veranda shaded by more trees. "Vic? Is everything okay? Yeah, we'll be home first thing in the morning. We can come home sooner if you need....yes yes fine. I did ask him and he said yes. He actually asked me too. Yeah, funny how this happened again. I guess we're too predictable." They stopped to sit on a white wooden bench on the veranda with high pillars on either side. "So you can stay the night. If you're sure. I know, we can't wait to tell him. Don't say anything to him yet, we want to tell him together. Okay, see you tomorrow. And Vic? Thanks." He pocketed his phone, stood up. 

"You told Vic what you were planning?"

"She thought we were just going out for dinner, but I had to explain why I was so dressed up. Apparently this isn't something you wear when you are just taking your man out for dinner."

A middle-aged woman with hair the color of the sun sat behind a tall wooden counter and greeted them with a smile. Her name was Emily according to the gold tag pinned to her black blouse. "How can I help you?" 

"We called a little while ago. Made a reservation under Sugden." 

She pressed some buttons on the keyboard in front of her, grabbed two keys and placed them on the counter. "Here you go. You just go back outside and your room is the third on the left. Enjoy your stay. And If there's anything you need, just ring from the phone in your room."

"Thanks." Robert grabbed the keys. "Let's go, husband." He couldn't resist tapping Aaron lightly on the butt as they walked back out.

* * *

Robert removed his tie as Aaron shut the door behind them. "Seb helped me pick this out. He has no idea about tonight. I can just imagine his face when we tell him."

"He was a baby when we got married the first time," Aaron remembered. "I doubt he remembers it. And this time when we get married he'll be officially ours."

"The lawyer said everything is filed and we can expect the official paperwork in the next few weeks." Robert peeled off his jacket, hung it over one of the two grey upholstered chairs that were in the room, and put his wallet and keys on the tempered glass table next to the chair. 

"We have to be at the pub tomorrow for lunch." Aaron took off his tie, suit jacket, and started to unbutton his shirt. "You know how my mum is. There's no way out of it. But I told her no party like the last time. But knowing her, who knows what we'll walk into." 

Barefoot, Robert closed the distance between them, and pushed Aaron's hands away. "I told you I wanted to get you out of that suit." Eagerly, he unbuttoned the rest of Aaron's white shirt, his eyes bright with mischief.

They undressed each other slowly, letting the desire build. As they fell to the bed, Robert's hand was everywhere, impatient for the feel of Aaron's skin under his hands.

It felt like home.

When Aaron reached out to touch him, he felt the first stirrings of desire. He covered Aaron's body with his own and melded their mouths together. It was easy to just block out the rest of the world when they got lost in the moment. 

After all of the time that had passed, they still knew the right places to touch to ignite the fire. And when Robert touched his face and skimmed his fingers down his chest, Aaron's breath caught and he arched under him, craving the next touch. Then Robert lowered his mouth to his again, and he surrendered. 

"How the hell did I live without this for so long?" Still breathing heavily, Robert ran a hand through Aaron's hair as Aaron laid against his chest.

"I don't know, but we're definitely making up for all the time we lost. You haven't lost your touch."

Robert ran a finger over the ring he had just put on Aaron's hand, kissed it gently. "I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

When they walked in the front door, Seb was running around the living room. He was using his blanket as a cape and held a foam sword.

At the top of his lungs, he announced "my daddies are home!" 

Victoria, who was hiding behind a makeshift fort of pillows, emerged from her hiding place. 

Robert picked Seb up, spun him around. "Were you good for your Auntie Vic?"

"We're playing superheroes," Seb told him. "I had to rescue Auntie Vic from the castle."

"Did you?" Robert ruffled his hair. "Did you have to fight demons and monsters to rescue her?"

Seb held up his sword, pointed it at an imaginary monster. "I slew dragons."

"He saved the day." Vic's gaze went straight to the ring now on Robert's hand. "You did good," she told Aaron. "Now come on, we want to hear all about it."

"What happened?" Seb wanted to know. He didn't understand what all the fuss was about.

Robert carried him to the couch, put him down. "Your daddy and I are getting married again."

Seb's expression was priceless. Happy was an understatement. But at two and a half, he didn't really understand what that really meant, but it sounded like it was something to be excited about. "What does getting married mean?" he asked.

Aaron sat on the other side of Seb. "It means your dad and I will stand in front of all of our family and friends and make promises to each other. You know like promise to always love each other, be there for each other through better and worse, richer and poorer. Then we exchange rings and after that, we throw a big party."

"Party?" That piqued Seb's interest, the rest sounded boring. "I like parties."

Aaron laughed. "And you would get to walk down the aisle and hold the rings."

"That sounds like an important job." Seb looked worried. "Do you think I can do it?"

"We know you can," Robert said. "You're a big important part. You're our son. It's going to be a special day for all of us."

"When is it?" Seb wanted to know.

"We haven't picked a date yet," Robert told him. "But we can all pick one together. Then we can start making plans. I want this day to be really special for Daddy Aaron. And for you."

"It should be in the summer," Seb decided. "So it's nice outside and we can have ice cream."

"That doesn't leave us much time to plan, but I don't want to wait." Robert smiled at Aaron. 

"I don't want to wait either," Aaron said. "But right now, we have to get ready. Grandma is throwing us a party at the pub in a few hours."


	23. Chapter 23

It was moderate, a small and intimate celebration with just a few close friends and family, but it was still a party. 

They hadn't wanted a big fuss. This wasn't their first engagement, but it was definitely their last.

If Aaron was honest, he had expected to stroll into the pub to find a lavish reception. His mum never did anything low key.

And she didn't disappoint.

And it did put a mischievous grin on Seb's face when he saw all of the balloons and the table covered with enough food to feed an army, so Aaron decided to let himself enjoy it.

When Robert put him down, Seb went straight for a candy pop covered in white and gold icing. It wasn't long before his face was covered in brownie chocolate.

A white banner hung behind the bar with the words “Congratulations Aaron & Robert…3 rd times the charm” in gold letters. A long wooden table was propped against the wall with silver plates of fancy sweets, a platter of cheese and breads, fruit, and countless bottles of champagne on ice.

The pub was loud as people mingled and chatted, sipping champagne and nibbling on finger foods. 

“Really mum?” Aaron said referring to the banner.

“You look so handsome.” Chas pulled him in for a hug, ignoring his comment about the decor.

Aaron felt overdressed for the pub, but Robert had somehow convinced him that they should put on something modish just in case they were about to walk into a surprise party.

He had been right. But he still felt out of place in the dark red dress shirt and the red and silver striped tie that Robert had told him was super sexy and made him look devilish. He would decide how he felt about that comparison later.

Aaron had mocked Robert when he had dressed much more casually in a white collared dress shirt underneath his leather jacket and jeans.

The bastard. He would pay for that later.

When Robert handed him a glass of champagne, he took a long swallow.

“Third times the charm eh?” Robert found the sentiment oddly delightful. Seb, who was preoccupied playing with the gold chain around Chas' neck, took the strawberry Robert offered him.

“Are you sure you want to marry this bloke again, Rob? He’s messy and really obnoxious.”

“Liv!” Aaron turned around to find his little sister, the last person he expected to see.

Dressed in a black pantsuit, Liv looked so grown up. Success in her chosen field of study at college had matured her. He wasn't sure how he felt about it.

“When Robert told me that he was going to propose to you again, I knew I couldn’t miss this.” She popped a blackberry into her mouth. “Carter this is my brother Aaron and his husband Robert.”

The man beside Liv reached out a hand to Aaron. “I’ve heard a lot about you,” Carter said politely.

“All good I hope.” Robert playfully nudged Liv’s shoulder.

“Doubtful," Liv responded, pushing him back. Liv and Robert went back to their normal back and forth banter like no time had passed.

“I’m glad you guys came.” Aaron pulled her into his arms, held on tight. “Nothing like a Dingle party to try and scare the poor guy away.”

Carter took the beer Robert handed to him. "Thanks."

"Liv tells us you're in your second year of pre-med," Robert said. "That's pretty impressive."

"My dad is a pediatrician. It kind of runs in the family."

"As long as you make Liv happy, that's all we care about." Aaron elbowed her affectionately. 

"He does." Liv shot him a warning look that just made him grin.

“Liv wasn’t kidding when she said your family knows how to throw a party.”

“Especially when these two get married. It only happens every couple of years, so they go all out.” Liv loved to tease Aaron and Robert about their on and off relationship, but the truth was she loved them together. When Aaron had lost Robert, he had lost a part of himself. He had slowly turned into a phantom of the man he had been before. He hadn't known how to deal with the pain of losing the love of his life.

The Aaron that stood in front of her now was the big brother she had known before his world had crashed to the ground. He was happy, content and in love.

You could see it in the way they held hands, the way they smiled at each other, the simplest touch spoke volumes.

They were so happy.

“So when’s the big day?” Liv asked. She joined Aaron and Robert in a booth at the back of the pub while Carter went to get her a drink.

“We haven’t decided yet, but Seb has pretty much decided that it’s going to be in the summer,” Robert said.

“Because he wants there to be ice cream,” Aaron added.

“I better go get Seb before he pulls all the food off the table.” Robert kissed Aaron before he got up to fetch their son who had managed to grab a handful of bread and was smashing the pieces together and making a giant mess all over the floor.

“I still can’t get over how things have turned around. You didn’t just get Robert back, but now Seb too. You must be over the moon,” Liv said.

Aaron looked lovingly at Robert out of the corner of his eye. “I can’t even describe it.”

“I haven’t seen you this happy in a long time.” Her voice turned quiet, somber. “I was really worried about you when you lost him. You weren’t the same after that.”

“No, I wasn’t,” Aaron agreed. “And I did some really reckless things. Robert and we both made a lot of mistakes, but we’re stronger for them. It feels so good to just let go of the past and move forward.”

“You never stopped loving him.” It wasn’t a question.

“And I never will.” Aaron smiled as he watched Seb dip his finger in whipped cream and lunged towards Robert, who laughed as Seb managed to smear the side of his face.

They hung around for a few more hours. They stopped to chat with family and friends throughout the night and enjoyed more than a few drinks. And when Aaron grabbed a cupcake, Robert ducked, knowing what his husband was planning to do. Robert grabbed another one off the table and the two of them wrestled to the ground. They both emerged with white and gold frosting on their faces. Aaron grabbed him by the back of his neck and smashed their mouths together.

Robert wrapped his arms around Aaron’s waist and deepened the kiss. “I’ll never get tired of your shenanigans.”

“Get a room you two,” Liv said.

Aaron grabbed a napkin and cleaned his face, then reached over to wipe the frosting off of Robert's.

Robert grabbed a glass of champagne and banged a knife against the glass to get everyone's attention.

“We would like to thank everyone for coming tonight to celebrate our engagement. I know the last time I swore it was the last time, but this time I swear it’s true. First of all, I would like to thank Chas and Paddy for throwing this party together so quickly. Aaron and I had our first wedding reception here so it’s the perfect place to reflect on our past and future. I’ve made a lot of mistakes since our first wedding, but Aaron has always been by my side despite all the times I messed up. He’s the only person that knows me inside and out. I can’t help but think that a few weeks ago I was sitting alone in a jail cell just dreaming of a day like this. I never thought I would be back here again, let alone back with the love of my life.” He turned to Aaron. “You’re my best friend, my soul mate. I never believed in that word before I met you. You bring out the best in me. Thank you for loving me even in my darkest hours when I didn’t even love myself.” He could feel the tears stinging his eyes, but he wanted to get this out. “I know they say that you don’t find love but love finds you, and when I look back at the way we started, I can’t believe that after one kiss on a deserted road you changed everything. Fate led me to you. We’ve had a bumpy road from the start, but you never fail to amaze me with your love and devotion. No one else has ever come close to you. And no one ever will. I know I’ve said those words to you thousands of times before, but it’s never been more true then it is today.”

Touched, Aaron grabbed his hand. “Everyone knows I'm not much for talking. But," he said as he looked at Robert, "I never thought I would have you back, and here you are. You’re the love of my life. I would go through all of the bad stuff again if it meant we would end up back here. There’s no one else I would want to go through this unpredictable life with.”

When they kissed it was like no one else was in the room.

After saying their goodbyes, they walked home and together tucked Seb into bed.

In their bedroom, Aaron took off his jacket and tie, flung them over an armchair. Robert watched him from the other side of the room as he removed his leather jacket.

Barefoot, Aaron walked up behind him and pressed his body against Robert’s. “Well, that was fun.”

“It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.” Robert leaned back against Aaron. “It was nice seeing Liv. At least she didn’t kill me.”

Aaron pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “She would never actually kill you. She might think about doing it, but she would never follow through with it.”

Robert laughed, swatted Aaron’s hands away. “She said she would come back for the wedding. We just have to let her know when it’s going to be.”

“Next Saturday.”

“What?”

“I want to marry you next Saturday.”

“That’s awfully fast.”

“I don’t care. I don’t want to wait.”

Robert pulled him closer. “I don’t want to wait either.”

“We can tell Seb tomorrow. We don’t need a big do. Something small, we’ll make it special for the three of us.”

Robert pushed Aaron onto the bed, covered his body with his, and trailed a finger down Aaron’s chest. “Sounds good to me,” he murmured before he captured his mouth in a possessive kiss.

They pulled frantically at the remaining barrier of clothes and used their hands to explore, their lips to kiss every inch of bare skin.

"I need you." Robert's breath caught as Aaron arched under him. They moved together in slow, savoring beats.


	24. Chapter 24

After a restless sleep, Aaron yanked on the jeans he had worn the day before, grabbed a shirt and shrugged into it as he started out of the bedroom and made his way downstairs.

He thought he heard music, it was dim and distant. It wasn’t the radio or television, he realized as he walked downstairs. He recognized Adele as he walked into the kitchen and found Robert. Singing, using a whisk as a microphone, his voice smooth and clear.

_ I will leave my heart at the door _

_ I won’t say a word _

_ They’ve all been said before, you know _

_ So why don’t we just play pretend _

_ Like we’re not scared of what is coming next _

_ Or scared of having nothing left _

_ Look, don’t get me wrong _

_ I know there is no tomorrow _

_ All I ask is _

_ If this is my last night with you _

_ Hold me like I’m more than just a friend _

_ Give me a memory I can use _

_ Take me by the hand while we do lovers do _

_ It matters how this ends _

_ Cause what if I never love again? _

“I never knew you could sing like that.” Smirking, Aaron watched as Robert reached into one of the market bags on the kitchen counter and drew out a bunch of bananas and added them to the bamboo bowl on the kitchen table.

“You scared the shit out of me. I thought you were still asleep.” Robert put down the whisk and hauled a quart of milk and butter from another bag.

“You got up early and went shopping and now you’re singing and cooking breakfast. What have you done with the real Robert?”

“Shut up you.” While the coffee machine hummed, he grabbed a mug from the top shelf then continued to put away groceries. He poured milk into the mug, added coffee. “Here,” he said handing the mug to Aaron. “You look like you could use this.”

“Thanks.” Today was a big day and he was anxious. But if he was honest, it was the shroud of darkness hanging over him, the recurring nightmares that haunted him that kept him awake half of the night.

Robert took eggs, cheese, and tomatoes out of the fridge and put an omelet pan on the stove to heat. As he waited, he took berries and put them in a small bowl.

“You were tossing and turning a lot last night.” Robert handed him a banana from the bowl.

Aaron looked up and met his eyes. “I couldn’t sleep. Nervous about today and…” He didn't want to admit to what had really been bothering him. Rubbing his hands over his face, he was reminded he needed to shave.

Robert reached for his hand. “What is it?”

“It's this recurring nightmare. I used to have them all the time when you were locked up.” Aaron peeled the banana, took a bite. “A lot of the images are fuzzy, but I can see you vividly. You're standing in front of me and you smile, but then you disappear. In handcuffs. Then the next minute you're gone and I wake up. I couldn't get back to sleep after that. These past few weeks have been so amazing, but I'm so afraid I'm going to wake up to find this has all been a dream, that this is not a real. That's you're really not here.”

“Hey, look at me.” Robert cupped his face. “You don’t have to worry. It was just a dream. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

Aaron smiled weakly. “I know. I’m fine now. I guess I was just feeling overwhelmed with everything that’s happened the past few days.”

“Our engagement?”

“Yeah.” Aaron smiled. “I guess I was just afraid because it’s been such a long time since I’ve felt this happy. We were apart so long I’m just afraid that I’m going to wake up and you’re going to be gone, just like before.” Aaron took a sip of coffee. “So many nights I would sleep down here because I couldn’t bring myself to sleep in our bed without you. I’m just scared that I’m going to wake up any minute and I’m going to be alone again.”

Robert laid a hand over Aaron’s, felt his tremble. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I would spend nights lying on a cold hard bed in my cell and I would have these nightmares that would wake me up in the middle of the night. I would have these awful dreams where you had hurt yourself because of what I had done and sometimes I would see you lying in the hospital not breathing. I had this blurry image of me leaning over you as you lay in a hospital bed and I realize you're gone. Those scared me the most, thinking about something bad happening to you, and knowing there was nothing I could do to stop it. But we’re here now, we’re together and I promise you I’m not going anywhere.” He kissed Aaron before he went back to the stove to pour the egg mixture into the pan. He added the cheese and tomatoes. He plated the omelet and added fresh berries and put the plate in front of Aaron.

Aaron jabbed a fork into the omelet, tasted. “That’s really good. Maybe I should have invested in a breakfast bar instead.”

“You don’t know how to cook.”

Aaron shot him a look over a mouthful of berries. “Well lucky for you I’m an expert at other things.”

Robert laughed, warm and wicked. “Like what?” he taunted.

“Get upstairs and I’ll show you.”

Robert raced him up the stairs.

* * *

They were already late.

Aaron stared at his watch as he pulled a black sweater over his head. "How are we going to explain why we're late to our own grand opening?"

"We could just tell the truth." Robert fastened his watch, grabbed his jacket. 

"Oh right. That will go over well. Especially with my mum. Why are you late? Oh sorry mum I was preoccupied being ravished by my husband."

"I didn't hear any complaints," Robert pointed out.

"You're late," Chas said as they walked into the coffee shop, thirty minutes late.

"Blame Robert," Aaron said.

“How is it my fault?” 

“Do I really need to explain it to you? You were singing Adele in an apron and you cooked me breakfast. How was I going to resist that?”

He couldn’t argue with that. “If I have to take the blame for us having mind-blowing sex, I will gladly fall on the blade.”

“I didn’t need to hear that,” Chas remarked, covering her ears.

Aaron just snickered as he placed the chalkboard "welcome" sign on the front door. "Told ya not to say that," he said to Robert.

Robert shrugged innocently. "It just slipped out."

* * *

More people showed up then Aaron had expected. Robert still had the magic touch with details, Aaron thought as he looked around the room crowded with people. Their website had only launched yesterday and the promotional materials Robert had posted online and handed out in the village had brought a lot of customers and potential investors through the front door.

He wasn't a hotshot skilled businessman like Robert was, so he let Robert take the reigns while he stayed behind the scenes making sure everything ran smoothly. He kept on top of making sure there was always food on the platters being served, topped up glasses of champagne. He smiled, greeted everyone warmly who came up to the front counter, and made small talk while Robert worked the room.

"You can't stop staring at him," Chas remarked, handing Aaron a glass of champagne. "He's in his element."

"This is what he does best." He sipped champagne and watched as Robert made his way through the crowd of people, stopping to mingle and utilizing that charming, cocky smile of his to its full advantage.

The two baristas Aaron had hired to work at the shop used their speed and efficiency at the front counter making specialty coffee and other beverages. Waiters dressed in black and white tuxes went around serving mini quiches and other bite-sized delicacies.

At the end of a very long but successful night, Aaron and Robert joined Chas and Paddy back at the pub for a quick drink.

“I had no idea it would be so packed in there.” Chas poured pints of beer and joined them in a corner booth at the back of the pub.

“Everyone seemed to be having a good time. I'm exhausted,” Robert said as he let out a yawn.

“I can't believe how many people showed up. That's all down to you," Aaron said.

“I wasn't sure if I would remember how to work a room. By the end of the night, I had three offers from prospective investors. One is already trying to negotiate to buy into the business. And I'm already hearing whispers about opening up another shop just outside of town.”

"Never underestimate Robert Sugden," Paddy said.

"Or bet against him," Chas said.

Aaron rested a hand on Robert's knee. "I never do."

Robert slung an arm around Aaron’s shoulders. “We should get you home. You barely slept as it is last night.”

“Everything alright Luv?” Chas asked concerned.

“Just been a crazy couple of weeks,” Aaron said. His mum didn’t need to know everything.

“You need to take care of yourself,” Chas said.

“I know mum, don’t fret.”

“That’s what moms do best.”

“We should go relieve Seb’s babysitter,” Robert said looking at his watch.

Paddy cleared his throat. “Seb told us you’ve picked a wedding date.”

“It’s just going to be a simple ceremony next Saturday,” Aaron told him. “We’re just working on the details now.”

“We can throw a nice small reception here at the pub,” Chas offered.

“Actually mum, we’ve already booked the venue. It's a place that's special to us. And I want you to just be the mother of the groom and enjoy yourself.”

“Seb’s already picked out his little tux,” Robert said. “Now we just have to go and pick out ours and finalize a few other details.”

“If you need anything, just let us know,” Paddy said. “I know it’s important for you to make this day special for not just the two of you but Seb too.”

“Paddy, can I talk to you in private for a minute?” Robert asked him.

“Let’s go to the back and chat.” Paddy led the way to the back of the pub.

“What was that all about?” Chas looked at Aaron.

Aaron watched Robert leave, a confused look on his face. “No idea. But I have a funny feeling Robert has something up his sleeve.”

“I never thought I would have him back,” Robert admitted once they were alone. “It’s really important to me that this day is special. I want to show Aaron how much he means to me.”

“What do you need?” Paddy asked. Aaron had always been like a son to him and he would do anything for him.

“You’re like his dad,” Robert started. “I was hoping you would perform the ceremony.”


	25. Chapter 25

They got married on a sunny Saturday afternoon surrounded by close friends and family.

The Allydale was a hidden gem that they had discovered the day after Robert had been released from prison. They had needed a night away, somewhere far enough away from the village that they could concentrate on reconnecting with each other without any interruption.

It had been just what they needed.

And it felt like the perfect place to renew their vows. Their one night there reminded them of a happy time after so much heartbreak. It had been peaceful and serene, even though they had never left their room except to have breakfast in the dining room before heading back to the village.

It was a beautifully restored hotel framed by ancient oaks and surrounded by the lush and vibrant colors of the countryside with a courtyard fountain and a grand entrance. It was two stories of beautiful brick with stunning backdrops and views. The hotel boasted a unique combination of contemporary and rustic architecture.

The hotel was amid a varied landscape of rolling hills, manicured gardens, and ponds. 

The hotel had two bars, a traditional lounge, a wedding reception room, and eight spacious bedrooms that offered guests relaxed and un-rushed luxury, including a beautiful honeymoon suite.

The interior of the hotel featured oak beams, vaulted ceilings, impressive stone structures, and fireplaces with ceiling height windows with spectacular views of the countryside. 

At the back of the hotel, elegant French doors opened to a private terrace hidden away among trees and lush greenery.

Robert and Aaron walked out onto the terrace with Seb in between them in his cute little tux, a dark blue pillow in his small hands. Their wedding bands were tied together with a piece of gold ribbon.

Together they stood looking out towards the covered pavilion where guests were already seated in white chairs with gold sashes draped at the back, waiting for the ceremony to start.

“I’m scared,” Seb said, his lower lip trembling. “What if I drop them?”

Robert put a hand on his son’s shoulder to reassure him. “You’re going to be just fine. Grandma is going to walk down the aisle with you.”

Chas stepped out and took Seb’s hand. Blue and gold flowers were pinned to her dress the color of a dusky rose. “Its almost our turn. I just saw Paddy heading towards the altar to take his place.”

“I love you, dad.” Seb hugged Robert tightly, then looked at Aaron. “And I love you too dad.”

Aaron bent down and kissed Seb on the forehead. “We love you too. We’ll see you down there.”

Robert and Aaron watched them go before turning to each other.

Aaron grabbed his hand. “Well, I guess there’s no turning back. You’re stuck with me now.”

“I’m not going to find anyone else who will put up with my flaws and weaknesses. But in all seriousness, I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I’m glad we decided to do this here.” Robert looked around the spectacular views. “That first night we spent here is when I really started to feel free. Being here with you I finally felt like I was back home where I belonged. I knew there was nowhere else I wanted to be than here with you.”

“We barely made it out of the room.” Aaron grinned at the memory. “But I know what you mean. After you got out, it didn’t feel real. But when we came here, just the two of us, that’s when it did. I knew that I was never going to let you go again.”

“I’m the luckiest guy on the planet,” Robert said.

Robert pulled him in for a short, sweet kiss, then they heard the music. “That’s our cue.”

Aaron took his outstretched hand, linked their fingers. “Let’s get married.”

A metal archway with iron gates opened to unveil the white covered terrace with breathtaking panoramic views offering a stunning setting for an intimate celebration with stone pathways leading up to it, mature trees on either side. 

They walked down a lavish walkway of white. Ivory and pink blush flowers perched on white pedestals lined the aisle. It was small and intimate, just what they wanted. 

They walked together up to a floral arch at the front where they would exchange vows. Paddy was waiting for them.

“Thank you all for coming today,” Paddy started. “As we celebrate the renewal of vows between Aaron and Robert.”

Robert took a deep breath and took Aaron’s hands in his. “I never believed in fate or destiny. But looking back on this past year, I believe that it was fate that brought you back to me. No matter how many mistakes I've made over the years, you never gave up on me. You make me want to be better. You bring out the best in me. You’re my best friend, the one person who knows me inside and out. Who knew that one kiss on an old country road would lead us there. You changed my life. You never fail to amaze me with your love and devotion. You drive me crazy, make me mad, frustrate me, but I love that about you. At the end of the day I look at you and know that no matter what happens, we’ll get through it together. I love you so much.”

“I’ve never been good with words, but when it comes to you I feel like it just comes naturally. When I lost you, I felt like I had lost a huge part of myself. It wasn’t until you walked back into my life that I started to feel whole again. You complete me. We’ve gone through our fair share of hard times, and this last year has been the worst. A part of me died inside when you went away. But now, standing here with you, I realize that I never really lost you. You were always in here.” Aaron pressed a hand to his heart. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you, and I never will.” He turned to Seb who was sitting on Chas’ lap before looking back at Robert. “And you've given me a son. He was never part of our plan, but he's here and he's ours and I wouldn't change anything.”

Robert reached down and took the ring nestled on the pillow Seb held, placed it on Aaron’s finger. Aaron did the same.

“I now pronounce you husband and husband.”

With their guests looking on, Robert kissed his husband.

* * *

The wedding reception room accommodated up to eighty guests with luxurious decor. Stunning crystal chandeliers hung from the high vaulted ceilings and floor to ceiling windows let in natural light. The walls were adorned with creams and gold.

Guests sipped champagne and filled their plates with food from the dinner buffet including applewood smoked pork, roasted lamb, thyme and dill potatoes, and roasted vegetables.

A white three-tiered wedding cake laced with gold ribbons around the edges sat on a glass table at the front of the room with other small desserts.

After dinner was served and everyone had eaten, Robert and Aaron, who had slipped out of their suit jackets, joined hands and cut the first slice of cake filled with light and fluffy vanilla buttercream. 

They stopped by every table to speak with their guests before the band started to play. Aaron still hated dancing, but it was a tradition for them to have a first dance so when Robert pulled him into the middle of the dance floor, he closed his eyes and danced with his husband. 

He had never been so happy.

It was past midnight by the time they stumbled into the honeymoon suite, slightly drunk on champagne.

They moved through the room, slowly, deliberately. They fell to the bed, their bodies molding together as they removed the rest of their clothes. Their shirts, pants, jackets, and ties ended up in an unorganized heap on the floor. 

Robert's eyes were fierce with heat as they stared into Aaron's. Aaron recognized the love, the passion, the lust, like so many times before.

Instinct took over as Aaron brushed his lips against Robert’s, retreated, brushed, then sank soft and warm. He let out a sound of pleasure – escape, seduction, surrender, a shimmer of promises to come. Their need for each other spiked, and he forgot everything except for the man underneath him.

Their wedding day had been perfect, but nothing compared to these moments alone, wrapped up in the arms of the man he loved. They had vowed to love each other forever before, he thought, but today the new promises they had made to each other stirred something inside of him. 

He wanted more, so much more. And tomorrow they would start their new life together. There was so much to look forward to.

They had Seb, and hopefully down the road, they could revisit having another baby. They had already talked about it, and neither of them could wait to add to their family.

Robert sighed, skimmed his fingers through Aaron’s hair, could feel himself losing control already.

As they rolled over the bed, they yearned and ached. Everything felt frantic, fast. They had all the time in the world but they couldn't wait.

Aaron moaned, trembled with need and want. His voice was throaty with passion. “I don’t know how I ever survived without you, without this.” He kissed Robert, with a desperate and dizzy demand for more. 

Robert let Aaron ravish him – there was no other word that came close – gripped Aaron’s shoulders as they took a final, breathless fall.

Aaron opened dazed eyes, stared into Robert’s. He wasn't sure if he could ever move again. Wasn't sure he wanted to. “I don’t know about you, but I think this honeymoon is a lot better than the first.”

Robert was still trying to catch his breath as he pulled the blankets over them, laid his head on Aaron’s chest. “Out of all of our weddings, this is definitely my favorite. This time it’s forever.”


	26. Chapter 26

**_ Epilogue - Part 1 _ ** **_February 15, 2023_ **

On a sunny Sunday afternoon in the park, as they celebrated their daughter’s first birthday, Robert thought back to a different time, when every day was a battle just to get through to the next, surrounded by a million feelings, a thousand thoughts, a hundred memories of his life before.

He had clung to those memories when he had been locked up, even though he felt hollow inside, empty and out of place. 

It was like being swallowed up by a vicious, vengeful sea, the pain so blinding that he had lost sight of everything as countless darkened days rained over him.

He had hit rock bottom, pulling him in an abyss so deep and horrifying that he never thought he would get out. He stopped living; he no longer cared about whether he would survive the next day. He tried to adapt to his new life, as empty as it was. He had dug himself into this hole, he didn't deserve to get out of it. 

But that never stopped him from thinking about Aaron and mourning the life they lost because of his careless actions. The endless what-ifs. There had been no closure between them, and he couldn't get past the nagging thoughts that just wouldn't allow his heart to let it go.

If you don’t ask him, you’ll never know.  _ He doesn’t love me anymore _ . But what if he does? He never stopped before, why would he stop now?  _ Because I hurt him. There’s no way he could forgive me this time. _ Are you sure?  _ No. I’m not sure about anything. _

If you don’t fight for him, someone else will.  _ He deserves to be happy with someone that isn’t going to spend the rest of his life in prison _ . That’s his decision to make, isn’t it? Not yours.  _ I’m not going to let him waste the rest of his life on me.  _ He’s your husband. He loves you.  _ And I love him. Which is why I let him go.  _ And if he finds someone new?  _ Good, he deserves that. _

Do you really want him to make a life with someone else? Would that really make you feel better?

And the honest answer to that question is what finally led him to take a real and honest look at himself and stop pretending he was fine and pick up the phone after seven months of no contact.

He remembered how afraid he’d been as he dialed with shaking hands, petrified that he would lose his nerve and hang up. But then he heard Aaron’s voice and he knew he couldn’t walk away.

He was done running.

His voice had been unsteady and faint when he had whispered “I miss you,” just to keep Aaron on the line. The words had flowed so naturally, because it had been the truth.

Aaron didn’t hang upon him, but he was furious. “You left me. You gave up on me. You gave upon us. Just like that, like I meant nothing to you.”

That hadn’t been true. Aaron had meant everything. 

But in cutting off all contact between them and sending Aaron divorce papers, he had unwillingly let Aaron believe he wanted nothing to do with him, that his decision to end their marriage had been because the love between them was gone, when all he had been trying to do was protect him. He had done it unselfishly, but looking back now he knew the decision had been made solely out of self-pity. He had been drowning in it.

He had always taken the easy out. It had been simpler to run away instead of facing the onslaught of uncertainty that surrounded them head-on. It had been the sudden and crippling fear that Aaron would end up resenting him in the long run that had sealed the deal in his mind. He had convinced himself it was better to cut ties now instead of down the road. The damage of the destruction he had caused had already been done; it couldn't be repaired.

As the months went on, sadness took over. He felt like he was suffocating, invisible walls caving in.

Even in all of the madness, Aaron had understood him, wanted him, waited for him.

He never thought he would see Aaron again. His hasty decision to end their marriage had only ended up hurting both of them, and months of heartbreak had ensued, almost breaking them.

He only saw his flaws, but Aaron never lost sight of the real him hidden behind all of the masks and facades he wore. 

They were different, always had been. It was what had attracted them to each other at the beginning. And when the chips were down, despite their differences, they pulled through because at the end of the day they couldn’t see themselves with anyone else.

_ I’d climb every mountain _

_ And swim every ocean _

_ Just to be with you _

_ And fix what I’ve broken _

_ Oh, ‘cause I need you to see _

_ That you are the reason _

That night, that brief conversation, had changed everything. He made the decision to stop feeling sorry for himself and fight to save his marriage. 

For better for worse, for richer for poorer.

He had broken his vows. And he’d spent the last two years doing everything he could to make up for all those months they had lost because he had been too caught up in his own head.

He never felt like he deserved Aaron’s unconditional love, but after his release from prison, he learned to love was an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person who is perfect for you. To really love someone, it isn’t just about a strong feeling. It’s a decision, a judgment, a promise.

Love without restriction, trust without fear.

They might have gotten lost a time or two on their journey, but they conquered obstacles and defied storms that could have easily torn them apart. They weren’t ashamed of the scars now; they were just a reminder of how they triumphed, proof that everything they had endured had been worth it. They had conquered the pain, learned lessons along the way, and had grown stronger because of it.

They had been remarried now for just less than a year, sold their coffee business to an out of town investor who had made an offer they couldn’t refuse. With the money they spent the next few months traveling around the world with Seb, giving their son the kind of life neither of them had growing up.

Then they had been blessed with another miracle when they met a young mom of two, Cassie, at a support group who felt an immediate connection with them. She had given them hope, and less than a year later she helped them achieve their dream of completing their family with a child of their own.

“What are you doing all over the way over here by yourself?” Aaron walked over to him, bringing Robert out of his silent thoughts.

Robert couldn’t take his eyes away from their little girl with her blond curls and crystal blue eyes, who had entered their world exactly one year ago.

With grass tickling her feet, Olivia crawled, plucking petals from the daisies in the grass, ignoring the cupcake covered in pink icing in front of her.

How ironic that she chose the anniversary of his release from prison to make her grand entrance, Robert thought with a smile as he took the cup of lemonade from Aaron and took a sip.

They had prayed for a child of their own for so long, and as he looked around the park and saw all of their family and friends here to celebrate Olivia’s first birthday, Robert realized he had everything. 

A giggle erupted from Olivia as Paddy made her a puppy out of an orange balloon, warming his heart.

They had come so far.

“Remember those letters I wrote to you?”

“Yeah.” Aaron turned to look at him. “What about them?”

Robert pulled him close. “I asked you if there was any part of you that still loved me, still wanted me, to not give up on me. It took me a long time, but I could finally see past all the self-pity and admit that I didn’t want to lose you, that I couldn’t.”

Aaron had known how hard it had been for Robert to admit that he had made mistakes. It was a flaw of his he found endearing. Robert hated to admit when he was wrong.

He had owned up to them, made up for them a thousand times over in the past two years. “That’s all in the past. Look at what we have now, it’s because of everything we went through. We have each other, we have Seb, and now Olivia. We’re blessed with more than I ever could have imagined, especially after I lost you and I never thought I would ever get you back.”

When Robert looked at him, there was so much love in his eyes Aaron thought he would burst. “I told you I wanted to tell you that I still loved you, that I had never stopped.”

Aaron remembered, smiled at the memory. “Yeah, and I told you the same.”

“I asked you if you had moved on. I was so scared of the answer.”

“Which I hadn’t. Even after seven months of us not talking, believing that you didn’t love me anymore, I wasn't ready to.”

“I asked for your forgiveness and you never even hesitated.”

“Because I love you. Because I knew why you did it. Even when I had been angry with you, deep down I knew.”

Robert grinned then. “Then you had the nerve just before we hung up to tell me that you weren’t going to be able to keep your hands off me once I was out of prison. That was unfair. That’s all I could think about the next few days, your hands all over me, mine all over you.”

“We certainly didn’t waste any time,” Aaron recalled with a grin.

“You called me an idiot.”

“Correction. I said you were mine and that I loved you, you idiot.”

“I told you I didn’t deserve your forgiveness,” Robert said, his voice turning softer.

“And I said you were getting it anyway.” Aaron turned into his arms and pressed their lips together.

“The next day you walked into my solicitor’s office and I couldn’t breathe. I took one look at you and everything else faded away. I knew everything I wanted, everything I needed, was standing in front of me. And when you put the ring back on my finger, I realized we had never really lost each other. You were still my husband.”

Aaron looked over to the playground where Seb was helping Chas push Olivia in the swing, all three of them smiling. Aaron looked back at Robert. “Two years ago you came back home. We barely made it in the front door before we had our hands all over each other.”

“You started it,” Robert accused lovingly.

Aaron shrugged innocently. “I didn’t hear you complaining.”

“Things got interesting after that.” That was an understatement, Robert thought. “With Marcus and Rebecca. One thing nobody can accuse us of is having a boring life.” Bad memories mixed in with a lot of good ones. Their life, even to this day, never failed to bring excitement and not far behind it, trouble.

“And now look at everything we have.” Aaron pulled him in for another kiss, held Robert’s face. “I never would have wanted all of this with anybody else.”

“Me either.”

Seb came running up to them holding a blue balloon in the shape of a dinosaur. He covered his eyes. “Do you have to kiss all the time?” he said shaking his head. He never understood why his parents felt the need to kiss each other all the time, Seb thought with the innocence of a four-year-old.

Robert pretended to think about it. “Yes. That’s what married people do.”

Seb rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to do it out in public. It’s embarrassing.”

"You'll change your mind one day when you meet that someone special," Aaron told him.

Seb ignored that. There was no way he was ever getting married or kissing anyone. It was gross. “Grandma told me to tell you it’s time for cake and Olivia wants to open her presents. And can you stop looking at each other like that? It’s weird.”

"What are you going on about?" Aaron asked him with a laugh. 

"You look at dad like I look at ice cream," Seb said.

The comparison, Robert thought, was endearing. And true.

“I do not," Aaron said, trying to act offended.

"You do, but I think it's cute." Robert smiled. 

“Stop it," Seb told them, throwing his hands up in the air dramatically when they kissed in front of him again. “I don’t need to see you kiss every minute. It's weird.”

"That doesn't sound right," Aaron said scrunching his nose.

"It's more like every three minutes." Robert scooped Seb up, put him upon his shoulders. 

Yeah, life was pretty sweet right about now. 

He wouldn't change a thing.


	27. Chapter 27

Olivia Sugden-Dingle may have inherited her blonde curls and adorable freckles from Robert, but her temper and attitude had defiantly been passed down to her from Aaron, which was in strong force at the end of the day when she let out a muffled cry because her party was over and everyone was getting ready to leave.

Aaron was no match for the tears streaming down her face. He would have done anything, given her anything, to make her smile.

The tantrum didn’t faze him, but the amused look on Robert’s face had him glaring at his husband.

“What?” Aaron picked her up, brushed the grass off of her pink dress.

“She’s more like you than me,” Robert said with a smirk as he gathered up presents.

“Shut up," Aaron said, but with affection.

As Robert loaded their car with all of Olivia's presents, the leftover birthday cake, Aaron buckled Olivia up in her car seat. She had calmed down but tears still stained her rosy cheeks.

Seb, always the doting older brother, settled in his seat beside his sister and held her hand as Robert pulled the car onto the main road.

By the time they had pulled into the driveway of the Mill, both kids were already fast asleep.

Aaron was too exhausted to think about dragging in all of the presents and both kids into the house. "Whose bright idea was it to have another kid? I spent all afternoon chasing Olivia around and I'm exhausted."

"Old man." Robert laughed, but before he could stop it, he yawned. 

Aaron shot him a look of amusement. "You should talk. And if I recall, it was your idea to have another kid."

* * *

**_Flashback - February 2021_ **

Aaron had been caught off guard when Robert suggested they start going to surrogacy support group meetings again.

They shifted priorities; business, money, material things – they abandoned their need for them and concentrated on what they wanted most of all – a family.

Unapologetic, Robert told him that all he cared about was growing their family. All of their suffering the past year had changed his perception of what he wanted in life. His priorities, his goals, and his dreams had shifted.

Owning the fanciest car, wheeling and dealing, doing what he had to do to make a fast buck was no longer important. He had no desire for any of it.

“I know what matters most now and that’s building a family with you. I’m not willing to compromise,” Robert had told him one night after they had tucked Seb into bed. They had only been home two days from their trip to France, they hadn’t even unpacked their bags yet.

Aaron couldn’t think of anything he wanted more so the next day they started to do research and found a local support group.

They still worried about the legalities of going through surrogacy. They had already been through the pain of losing a child, and neither of them wanted to go through it again. It had almost destroyed them. But if they had learned anything the past year, it was that life was too short to not take risks, especially when it was something you wanted bad enough.

They had connected with Cassie, already a mother of two young children, immediately. They had been honest with her about their past. Their stints in prison hadn’t fazed her. It was the love she saw so evidently between Aaron, Robert, and Seb that had sealed the deal in her eyes. She had been a surrogate before and had no concerns about being theirs.

They had invited her over to their place one night after a meeting. Over coffee at the kitchen table, Cassie had surprised them when she told them she wanted to be their surrogate.

Overcome with emotion, Aaron stared at her and wondered if he had heard her correctly. “You want to carry our baby. Even after everything we told you about us?”

Robert sat beside him, stunned.

“Your past doesn’t define you,” she had told them. “I see how much you love your little boy. And he’s not even yours biologically, Aaron, and yet here you are, loving him like he’s yours.”

Aaron looked over at Seb who was making a fort with pillows and blankets in the living room. “There was hesitation at first,” Aaron had admitted. “I’m no angel. It took me a while to accept Seb, and I regret that.”

“Nobody’s perfect. You love him and you’re raising him as your own. And from what I can see he’s a very happy and healthy child. I would say you’re a big reason for that.”

Robert had put his hand on top of Aaron’s knee and smiled. “He is. Aaron’s not just an amazing father to Seb, but he’s an amazing husband. He’s forgiven me more times than I deserve.”

“Your mistakes don’t define you either, Robert,” Cassie said. “My brother lost his husband to similar circumstances that you guys went through. He was in jail for a crime he wasn’t proud of, just like you. But he wasn’t as lucky as you. He never got a chance to get out and build a life with my brother. You were given a chance to change your life, make it better. And you have. And that’s down to you.”

There were legalities to take care of, but once that was done, they moved forward. A few bumps in the road were nothing, small setbacks that didn’t amount to anything. They used the obstacles as stepping stones and in the end, they fought through them and came out stronger on the other side.

Aaron blinked back to the present and realized Robert was staring at him. "What?"

"Where did you go just now?"

"I was remembering the day we decided to try surrogacy again. I was so sure it was just a pipe dream."

The snoring in the back reminded them just how quickly their lives had been turned into chaos. They loved every minute of it.

"Yeah, and you remember when we found out we were to going to have a little girl? God, I was petrified. We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into."

Aaron laughed. "We still don't." Aaron thought back to a rainy Friday afternoon almost sixteen months ago when they got the shocking news.

**_ Flashback – September 2021 _ ** ****

A black and white imaged appeared on the screen in the small, dimly lit room as the doctor monitored the growth and position of the baby.

“The baby has been more active the last few weeks,” Cassie said.

“The baby is growing right on schedule,” the doctor said as she continued to run the probe around Cassie’s belly.

Standing on either side of Cassie, for the first time, Aaron and Robert got to see their baby. The baby opened and closed its mouth and sucked its thumb on the tiny screen.

Trying to show off already, Aaron thought with pride.

“I don’t see any abnormalities or birth defects. Everything is looking good.” The doctor turned off the machine, wiped the gel off of Cassie so she could pull her shirt back down. “I can print a few photos for you to take home.” The doctor paused as she looked at Aaron and Robert. “Did you want to know the sex of your baby?”

“Our first concern was just making sure that the baby was healthy,” Aaron said. “But we do want to know. My mum’s already itching to know so she can start shopping.”

“Ah yeah grandma’s love to spoil their grandbabies,” the doctor said with a laugh. She took the photos she printed and placed them inside an envelope. “Congratulations daddies. You’re having a little girl.”

“A little girl.” Robert was still in shock over the news. “We’re going to have a little girl.”

“We’re in trouble,” Aaron smirked. “We know nothing about girls.”

“Clearly,” Robert said dryly.

“You guys will do just fine,” Cassie reassured them as she pulled on her jacket. “I’ll give you guys a minute, then we can go for that chocolate milkshake you promised.”

Aaron stared at the black and white photo in his hand. “A daughter,” he said in disbelief.

Robert laughed, draped an arm around Aaron’s shoulders. “We're going to need all the help we can get."

They had prepared for her arrival the best they could. They painted the nursery in a soft pink. The closet was full of clothes, more than their daughter would ever need. But Chas insisted on dropping by nearly every other day with more. A white crib sat in the corner of the room, a wooden rocking chair beside it. An espresso-colored change table was on the other side of the room, the drawers already overflowing with diapers, disposable wipes, and blankets.

The car seat was loaded in the car, the baby bag packed and by the front door for when they got the call that Cassie was in labor.

After months of waiting, wondering and anticipating, nothing prepared them for the reality when the day finally came.

It was late at night when they had gotten the phone call that Cassie was on her way to the hospital. They were in the middle of celebrating Robert’s one-year anniversary from his release from prison with a glass of red wine after they had tucked Seb into bed.

They made a quick call to Chas to come watch Seb before they drove the short distance to the hospital. They were both full of adrenaline, minds cluttered with a free-floating anxiety floating around on an ocean of terror and excitement. 

They had been waiting for this day for months. Now that it was here, Aaron realized for the first time just how much their life was about to change.

It was pitch black as Robert reached in the back seat for the baby bag while Aaron grabbed the car seat.

The drizzling rain cascaded from the sky, steady and soft, and Aaron lifted his face and let it graze his skin. It calmed him.

Just past eleven p.m., Olivia Sugden-Dingle entered the world screaming at the top of her lungs.

It seemed fitting somehow.

“We loved you even before we knew you. Even when there was just hope for you, we loved you.” Robert kissed Olivia on the forehead as the nurse swaddled her.

So full of love he thought he might burst, Aaron watched his husband hold their daughter for the first time. And fell in love all over again.

Miracles take time, Aaron thought. They had waited forever for this moment, and he didn’t want to miss a second.

Aaron placed fresh flowers on the table beside Cassie’s bedside. “Thank you,” he said, tears in his eyes. There were no words that would ever be enough to express their gratitude for the gift she had given them.

Their child. His and Robert’s. Their miracle.

“I’m so happy for you guys,” Cassie said, reaching out to touch his hand.

It had been an emotional journey, full of ups and downs as they yearned to complete their family.

But it had been worth it.

It still felt so surreal, even as he watched Robert hold their daughter in his arms.

He remembered his mum’s words when he told her about meeting Cassie for the first time months before.

“Life has a funny way of working out just when you start believing it never will.”

And she had been right.

Aaron looked at her now, not just as their surrogate, but their saving grace, a friend. “I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for us. A lot of people wouldn’t have taken a second look at us. We’re not perfect, we’ve made a lot of mistakes along the way, but you saw something in us. We’re going to be grateful forever for what you’ve done for us.”

“The minute I met you, I felt a connection with both of you. And when you told me your story, I knew I could help you. I would do it all over again if it put that big smile on your face.” Cassie smiled back at him. She glanced over at Robert who had stripped off his shirt and was soothing his newborn daughter with skin to skin contact. He was clearly already smitten with her.

“We will never be able to repay you,” Aaron said as he fluffed her pillows.

“You don’t need to. Just be happy, okay? You guys deserve it.”

A few hours later, they introduced Seb to his new little sister. Aaron was holding her when Chas walked in with Seb behind her, hiding his face.

“Come on little man, don’t you want to meet your sister? She’s been waiting to meet you.” Robert knelt in front of Seb, squeezed his hand.

“What if she doesn’t like me?” Lips quivering, Seb stole a glance at the little bundle Aaron was rocking back and forth in his arms.

“She already loves you,” Robert promised him. “Here, come take a seat on the bed and you can hold her.”

Cautiously, Seb sat beside Aaron on the bed. Olivia was sleeping, so he spoke softly not wanting to wake her. “I’m your big brother. I promise I’ll take care of you.”

“She’s beautiful,” Chas said, draping her arm around Aaron as she looked down at her granddaughter.

Aaron smiled. His life, he decided, was pretty damn sweet at the moment.

The first few months they got a glimpse into the joy of parenthood. Endless feedings and sleepless nights. They juggled countless feedings, diaper changes, and inconsolable crying jags with practiced patience.

As she became more mobile, and a fascinating world out there ready to be explored, Olivia tried to access dangerous baby temptations. Stairs, the glass coffee table, the breakables on the kitchen counter.

They enjoyed every sweet, frustrating moment.

* * *

Aaron dragged the house keys out of his jacket pocket, found the right key, unlocked the door. They stepped inside and Aaron flicked on the lights.

Olivia was still fast asleep in Robert’s arms. Seb had already disappeared up the stairs.

She was becoming more and more independent, tackling new challenges, and mastering new firsts by taking the opportunity to take supervised risks.

The floor in her room was always covered in toys that could be twisted, spun, turned, cranked, dumped and filled, and countless blocks to stack and books to flip through. A box of crayons to scribble with and blank paper was always within reach.

They had to keep breakables out of reach now that she was starting to stand on her own. 

She had become obsessed with clapping her hands, waving bye-bye and banging toys together, on a mission to seek and destroy anything in her path. She was often preoccupied with getting into things she wasn’t supposed to. There was no surface too high or cabinet too deep to deter her desire for discovery. God forbid you told her she couldn’t do this or do that. A major meltdown always followed.

While Robert put Olivia in her crib, Aaron helped Seb change into his favorite dinosaur pj’s and tucked him into bed.

Seb tried to hide a yawn with the back of his hand. “Good night dad. I love you.”

Seb may not have been his biologically, but in all the ways that mattered, Seb was his son.

Aaron smiled, bent down to kiss his forehead. “I love you too, Seb. Get some sleep. Olivia is going to want to try out all of her new toys tomorrow.”

“But she got girl toys,” he complained.

“She’s one, Seb. She got dolls, blocks, and a push car. And those wooden musical instruments that are way too loud. But we’ll just hide those until grandma comes over since grandma is the one that went against our wishes and bought toys that make noise.”

“Good luck with that,” Seb said. 

Robert was already in bed when Aaron walked into their bedroom. “She got spoiled today. So many toys. You know she’s going to want to open every single one at dawn.”

Aaron got undressed and crawled into bed beside him. He couldn’t hide his amusement. “She just started to sleep through the night. Now we’re going to spend the next few years with the floor cluttered with endless toys. Toddlers only joy in life is to drive their parents insane. That’s what I’ve been told anyway. Lots for us to look forward to over the next few years.” But he wouldn’t want it any other way.

Amused, Robert leaned into Aaron’s neck and breathed him in. “I loved the baby stage. Having a toddler is going to be like having a blender without a lid. Nothing but chaos.” They never got to experience the toddler phase with Seb. He still regretted it.

“Admit it, you love all the meltdowns and public tantrums. You thrive on it.”

Robert snickered. “Reminds me of you.”

Aaron shoved him playfully. “I wouldn’t have it any other way though. We finally have everything we ever wanted. No matter how crazy our life is with two kids running around, I cherish every moment. I never thought I would have this.”

How did Aaron expect him to form an intelligible sentence with his breath, deep and unsteady, against his ear and his lips were making a trail down his neck like that?

“Yeah,” Robert managed. He couldn’t concentrate on anything except the feel of Aaron’s lips against his skin. It left him breathless as he struggled to open his mouth to speak. Desire taking over, he flipped Aaron onto his back. “All I ever wanted was you,” Robert whispered, as his lips made a trail down Aaron’s body. He grinned as he felt the hitch in Aaron’s breathing. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Aaron’s voice had turned rough and husky as he put a hand on Robert’s chest, stilling his movements. “We lost so much time but we’ve made up for it. I still can't believe after everything that we went through that we're still together, with two kids no less. I had almost given up on us having a family. I had lost you, then Seb, and I never thought I would survive all that heartbreak. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to put into words how much I love you, how much I love our life. I never take a day for granted." 

_ I had it all once and then in a blink of an eye I lost it all,  _ Aaron thought silently. But he would do whatever he had to do to make sure it didn't happen again.

“I know what you mean. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” Robert laid his forehead against Aaron’s, felt the beat of his heart as he laid a hand on Aaron’s chest. "The smartest thing I ever did was kiss you on that old country road."

“You could never resist my charm. Even back then.”

No point in denying something that was true. “I loved you, even then. I just didn’t know it yet.” With Aaron underneath him, he lowered his head.

When their lips met, the passion took over as it always did. It was as intense and fierce. Aaron covered Robert's mouth with his greedily. After a moment, he let himself melt into the kiss, deepened it.

As a sliver of moonlight spilled into the room, Aaron abandoned his own promise to take it slow. 

Throughout their life together, they had celebrated, mourned, thrived, and triumphed.

But more than anything, they had loved.

With their babies sleeping soundly down the hall, they drifted off to sleep, excited to face the next day. Together.

_ If I could turn back the clock, I'd make sure the light defeated the dark. I'd spend every hour of every day keeping you safe. And I'd climb every mountain And swim every ocean just to be with you and fix what I've broken. Oh cause I need you to see, you are the reason. _


End file.
